Spiritwalker Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm with puddingkip here. If someone behaves like a decent human being - and especially not like an attention whore - I don't care about their gender. However, if were talking about having a sexual relationship I most likely couldn't imagine myself being with a trans person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draco Blaze Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 You do whatever makes you happy so long as it does not intrude upon another's happiness. I treat everyone how they want to be treated so long as they ask for it. I'd call a person a camel if they asked me to. I'm with TheDoktor on the sexual relationship, but I would take it a step back. The only time I would ever be offended or hurt is if I was not told by the person I was in a relationship that they were transgender. It isn't so much an issue of them being transgender, but more an issue of trust. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lib3l Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 So if they got tits, long hair, no penis, wore girl clothes, talked like a girl, but were a transgender how can you not consider them a girl? If they want to go through the ordeal of doing that the least you can do is respect their decision. Sure, they may look, act and have a body like a female but at the end of the day they were born a male. Their sex will always be a male because that is the way they were born. I've never met a trans person and if they wanted to be called the gender they are now I would be fine with that but you can't deny that their sex is male. Overall I have nothing against them, personally I wouldn't understand why people would do that but it's not my problem nor my place to judge till i have been in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
λngelღмander Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 While I was once, very recently even, a hateful and judgemental person, I've come to realize that it's not really up to us to question other people's life choices. While it is always up to you to choose to disapprove, I think the world is a much happier place when people who can't accept one another choose to ignore each other. From what I understand, transgendered people, as well as gay people, usually have structurally different brains. The hormones in the mother's womb during her pregnancy simply caused the brain to form a certain way, and the person was born with a "female" brain. Now a female's brain is not much different from a males, but there are a few differences, specifically: larger and more active pineal gland, and (I could be wrong about this one) more active/larger limbic system (which is for emotions, basically.) So there are definitely people in this world who were "born gay" versus having become gay, and born transgendered versus having become that way. As a person with a definite mental disability (and by no means am I implying that homosexuality is also a mental disability, I call it one because it causes me discomfort, but if I did not mind being the way I was, I would call it an advantage,) I know that I can't help but be the way I am. No amount of counseling would make me less antisocial. Any appreciation in my skill with people would be strictly learned, I will never recover a typical "average" amount of inherent social skill that I was born without. But I digress, this post isn't meant to be about me. While I respect people's life choices, and I harbor no negative opinions toward them, I do think it is their responsibility to be forthright about their condition in dating. It is a simple fact that not everyone can accept a transgendered person for the way they are, even post-op, and it would be cruel to lie to someone about it and keep it hidden. It is their responsibility to be respectful of other people's beliefs as well, even if it doesn't always work out the best for them. Everyone has their own approach toward the experience of life, and I think they all have every right to do it however they want (barring generally unacceptable things.) I don't know what I believe anymore about life, about after death. I would like to think that reincarnation exists, because I would love to get to experience life again from another perspective, but I'm afraid that probably isn't how it will go. The point I'm coming around to is that perhaps there isn't a second chance, perhaps there isn't another life where you happen to be happy with your body. If you truly only get to live one time, and after that you simply don't exist anymore, would you really live life in a body you weren't comfortable with? In a body you didn't feel like yourself in? I empathize deeply with people who face struggles with identity in their lives. It's a shame everyone can't be born the way they want to be. I didn't intend for this post to become so long, but I think I've conveyed my full opinion. Thanks for reading Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiritwalker Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I do think it is their responsibility to be forthright about their condition in dating this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Veteran Eagle Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Haven't met any TGs before, though I don't think I'll have any problems being friends with one, unless if he/she is being super abnoxious about it. Really, when making friends, I don't care who you were in the past, I only care about who you are today, or maybe who you wanna become in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
77777777777777777777777777 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I'm fine with you wanting to be a female or identifying as one What I'm not fine with, however, is people trying to shove it down our throats You are a human male in our society, whether you like it or not and regardless of what you identify as You are not entitled to being accepted as whatever you identify as. People aren't in your head and aren't going to respect the shit out of your beliefs Humans are in the process of accepting social deviants like transgenders, but we still have a long way to go I'm not going to acknowledge you as a woman just because you identify as one. What you identify as is irrelevant to me, you have as much rights to identify as anything as I have the right to reject it. Claiming Sam should submit to Edward's desire for him to acknowledge him as a woman is very much like saying Edward should submit to Sam's desire for him to seek professional help; both cases are terribly one-sided. The "I was born in the wrong body" argument is very discussable-- it's claiming that even under completely different circumstances, you would still feel like you were born to be a woman. Is that not only ignorance, but also arrogance? Furthermore, is the desire for everyone to accept you for who you are highly apathetic towards these people's thoughts and opinions? So you don't want people not to care about what you identify as, but you're fine with not caring about their points of view? I have nothing against transgenders, and possess the deepest respect towards those that can live in society without feeling the need to cause an uproar by revealing what they perceive as their true selves. I simply feel like we aren't obligated to accepting transgenders just because they feel like they were born in the wrong body. There are so many factors and variables affecting one's sexual identification I wouldn't know where to start, it's not your place to say whether you're, objectively, a woman mentally or not. If you don't like it, tough shit, you should see people that are in harmony with your social identity, that one of a transgender. Bending our will as human beings for your sole satisfaction is straight out selfish, self-centered and laughable. The world does not revolve around you, and things human beings believe they are entitled to are nothing but luxuries. We as a species are entitled to absolutely nothing. If you feel like a woman, that's cool, but you weren't born as one, and you most certainly aren't one even after your transition-- as such, I see no reason for me to accept you as a woman. If anyone thinks I am a bigot for believing in my right to freedom of mind, I suggest they also take a look at themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Teeny Tiny Cat Posted October 9, 2015 Administrators Share Posted October 9, 2015 I find some of this topic really odd to reason because I don't really get what being a woman feels like. To me, being a woman is essentially the behaviors, appearance, etc, associated with and conditioned into someone who is born female. Being passive, nurturing, soft, sweet, appearing feminine, etc, have nothing to do with being a woman in any innate sense, they are socially constructed norms for what a woman is in specific cultures. So I have trouble understanding what it means for someone who is born a man to identify as a woman, because what are they actually identifying with if not this cultural stereotype? I don't identify with many of the things that are seen as as feminine, but that doesn't make me a man, it just makes me a woman who thinks gender roles are kinda dumb. Having said that, I value the personal comfort and mental health of an individual above the intellectual discussion of gender and what it is, so although I don't really understand it I will support those who are transgender and experience dysphoria. We're all trying to get through life as best we can, and if it makes a person happier and that is who they feel they are, it doesn't hurt me to acknowledge and support that. On dating, again, I don't really mind. I am bisexual, which I suppose helps, and am generally attracted to who a person is over their appearance or the way their body looks, so someone being trans would not really be an issue for me. I think honesty is always great, of course, but I can empathise with how scary it might be to try to tell someone that early in a relationship when you have no idea how they are going to react. It must be particularly scary for transwomen dating heterosexual men, as there is always the threat of violence if they react badly, so I think those saying trans people should be upfront right away about it when dating should try to bear in mind that that can be a really scary thing for a person to do when they don't yet know if you're going to be understanding or beat the shit out of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apollothelion Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Kind of on same topic, but kind of off topic. I think its odd if someone is Transgendered and believes in god / religious. Because that makes it seem like the Almighty one (watever it is you believe in idk) made a mistake... Just a point someone brought up randomly one time, and had me thinking about it. I'm curious to anyone else's thoughts. On the other hand. I'm not sure what I believe in when regarding trans people. I do think that a majority of it is a mental thing, not per say an illness, but something else. The only real difference between a man and woman is the body parts. And I think a lot of trans people have the gender misconceptions about the mentality. I don't know cause I'm not trans, but its just some guesstimates from thinking about this topic. If you want to be trans, or do the change, then I don't mind, it doesn't affect me. Would I be okay with being in a relationship romantically? No. But I do think its a serious topic, and I don't think anyone should be allowed to make the change over unless you are 18+ and are aware of the consequences of the actions they are going to take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyperqube Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I think its odd if someone is Transgendered and believes in god / religious. Because that makes it seem like the Almighty one (watever it is you believe in idk) made a mistake...firstly - not all religions have a perfect god. secondly - (closer to christianiy) God (and/or satan) seems keen on challenging people ---- or at least, that's a common explenation if there's hardship of some kind if it sems the Almighty made a mistake, it is because he moves in mysterious ways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cąℓσceđrus ☁☽ Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 mental illness should be not be celebrated nor encouraged Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Oddball Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 The only thing that's really holding me back on this is having the guts to tell people IRL. Any good ideas on how to do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WDZ-RR Poncho Sullivan Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 The only thing that's really holding me back on this is having the guts to tell people IRL. Any good ideas on how to do that? I would suggest telling those who will most likely support you 100% no matter what path you take. You are going to need the support, because changing sex is a VERY difficult transition, and unfortunately, we live in a society that still has issues with transgenders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Oddball Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 I would suggest telling those who will most likely support you 100% no matter what path you take. You are going to need the support, because changing sex is a VERY difficult transition, and unfortunately, we live in a society that still has issues with transgenders. But the thing is, my parents won't 100% support me, so it's near impossible to make the transition without the dosh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Python. Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 mental illness should be not be celebrated nor encouragedI'm just gonna say what we're all thinking: shut up An illness? Are you fucking joking? Maybe you should try to make a coherent argument instead of insulting what people believe themselves to be The forum has had it up to here with you and you've barely been here a week. Take a hint or get out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0123847a;fsdaklf Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 An illness? Are you fucking joking? He's not wrong. But making judgments against people because they have something they can't help isn't good either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Oddball Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 He's not wrong. But making judgments against people because they have something they can't help isn't good either. Illness =/= abnormality. An illness is where something is wrong and/or causing harm to you mentally or physically. Being transgender doesn't harm me, does it? An abnormality is something that is not normal, which is what transgender is. Being a transgender person doesn't cause harm to me or others, so why call it an illness? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Python. Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I have a question @Oddball Are you a lesbian TG? Your waifu is a female after all so I'm just wondering, or do you like boys irl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin the Chicken God Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Illness =/= abnormality. An illness is where something is wrong and/or causing harm to you mentally or physically. Being transgender doesn't harm me, does it? An abnormality is something that is not normal, which is what transgender is. Being a transgender person doesn't cause harm to me or others, so why call it an illness? actually, an illness is more of a disorder with specific symptoms, regardless of whether it causes harm to you or others Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingwire Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 The only thing that's really holding me back on this is having the guts to tell people IRL. Any good ideas on how to do that? Start with your closest friend, and maybe wait to see them IRL so it seems more meaningful, and in a private and quiet place like your bedroom/somewhere similar. It's hard to have the guts to say the first words, but if they know you well (they should, if you've chosen to tell them) they'll notice the awkward silence and might ask if anything's wrong. If they do that, it's easier because they're likely prepared to be told something big immediately after. If they don't do that, you just gotta work up that courage. Don't take so long that they leave or something, because then you've just ruined your chance. You could possibly begin by saying "hey mate, I have something really important going on, and I feel it's right if you're in the loop for this". If they don't understand the implications of being transgender, give a very brief description of the transition process and tell them you're open to questions. Once that's through, ask them for help telling your parents and others, they could provide ideas you weren't even close to thinking up, that just might work. Expand to about 5-6 IRL friends max, because after that you're likely gonna tell someone that's not 100% in your trust circle. If anyone has a bad reaction, don't take it personally, some people just take time, because of how massive this kind of thing is. They'll likely come around eventually, after they realise your friendship is more important than what's between your legs. Combined, you become power rangers able to figure out a way to break it to your parents, because you and your closest friends probably know your parents a hell of a lot better than anyone here does. Sit your parents down, maybe after dinner, and find a way to get all siblings/non-parent family members out of the house, or at least out of hearing range. Once you've gotten the main "coming out" bit taken care of, explain that while the cost may be high, it's spread over 3+ years, and you could offer to sacrifice birthday/christmas/any gift-giving holiday presents to counter-balance it somewhat, and also offer to pay for the "non-essential" stuff like FFS and a tracheal shave and out of your own pocket, to lower the cost a bit more, lessening the load on them to only appointments, T-blockers, HRT, laser hair removal and SRS. Don't worry immediately if they have a bad response, I've seen one of the most homophobic and sterotypically manly fathers on this planet come around to be super-supportive of their MtF daughter in just over a month. If they never do, which is super sad, start an online campaign to raise some money, and save like it's your life's purpose. Ask yourself if you really need a car for example, my parents have been bugging me to buy one, but I live within walking distance of everything I need, so it's not immediately important for me, and you may find similar things when you address your situation in detail. Also, if you start hormone therapy when you're <20 years old, there's a reasonable chance your sexuality will flip if you're not gay, due to the body not being 100% soaked in testosterone yet, so it's open to things like that. If that doesn't happen, you may become bi or just nothing happens. Sorry for the wall of text, but I think it'll begin to lose meaning if I compress it further Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilled Soda Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 People have this strange idea that they have the right to tell other people how to live their lives. People can do what they want; that's my belief. As for you, Oddball, I wish you the best of of luck my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Oddball Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 I have a question @Oddball Are you a lesbian TG? Your waifu is a female after all so I'm just wondering, or do you like boys irl? I'm bi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iStruggle to Run it on Mac Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Unfortunately you're asking this question to mostly children, so there are going to be a lot of ignorant responses because they don't know any better. I don't think age matters because any one of us can type whatever age and go with it. They can be a child, a teenager and they could be 40 years old as Amen has stated. As well as anything in between or above. I doubt most of the people in these forums know each other in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IBreatheAlienSwag Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 ^ hate people like that. If you were born in the wrong body you should be able to change it. Open your minds, people. You can't be born in the wrong body...If you think you should be a woman, then you have somewhat mental issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deku Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 -snip- This Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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