*sigh* Need help with a girl

[Corvanor]

You are moving way too fast. Its okay to have a crush when you have only known her a week but it is not enough time to truly know a persona and expect to date them. Work on being friends first. Ask her to hang out, go to a movie, go to lunch on the weekend and just generally do stuff together. Give it a month or two. Your feelings may have moved fast but hers likely havent. Having a lot in common doesn't always mean a relationship will work. You need to get to know her as a person beyond just your similarities. When you two are close enough that it seems like she is truly your best friend, then is the time to ask her out. Also, for the love of god dont ask her out via facebook, Girls appreciate a little romance so if you are going to ask her out, do it in a way that she will think is cute. Messaging her on facebook and saying "We have a lot in common, I really like you, be my girlfriend" is not going to get her to say yes. Taking her to lunch and making her laugh will get a much better response.

He isn't going to marry her, he's simply asking her out. Asking someone out doesn't mean you're in a relationship.

[Zapperzz]

but for the snake of this post, I will, because it will probably get the point across. 

 

Sorry I had to I have never told you this but I also love snakes, (I'm guessing you're a snake enthusiast lol)  Recently though my Corn Gumdrop got loose,  he's been gone for a few weeks now, so I've lost hope :'(

 

About the advice... I once dated a girl after knowing her for only 2 days, it only lasted a month and was not that enjoyable.  Before that relationship I had dated a girl whom I had known (not closely, but still) for a whole year before we dated.  We dated for over a year and it was amazing, much better than the other relationship.  What made it better was that I knew her beforehand and it made everything seem much more comfortable.  Because of this I feel that knowing someone before you date them is cruicial.  In your case, despite only meeting a week ago, it seems like you already know her very well.  So I would go for it!!

[Avenging Flame]

He isn't going to marry her, he's simply asking her out. Asking someone out doesn't mean you're in a relationship.

That is exactly what it means. Perhaps im just too old, but in my day, asking someone out meant you were asking them to be in a relationship.

[Python.]

You are moving way too fast. Its okay to have a crush when you have only known her a week but it is not enough time to truly know a persona and expect to date them. Work on being friends first. Ask her to hang out, go to a movie, go to lunch on the weekend and just generally do stuff together. Give it a month or two. Your feelings may have moved fast but hers likely havent. Having a lot in common doesn't always mean a relationship will work. You need to get to know her as a person beyond just your similarities. When you two are close enough that it seems like she is truly your best friend, then is the time to ask her out. Also, for the love of god dont ask her out via facebook, Girls appreciate a little romance so if you are going to ask her out, do it in a way that she will think is cute. Messaging her on facebook and saying "We have a lot in common, I really like you, be my girlfriend" is not going to get her to say yes. Taking her to lunch and making her laugh will get a much better response.

 

Question, do you not consider you having lunch or going to a movie with one other person being a date?

I mean, what's the difference?

It wouldn't matter if I asked her to a movie as a friend or asked her to the movies as a date. We'd still be at the movies

[λngelღмander]

Question, do you not consider you having lunch or going to a movie with one other person being a date?

I mean, what's the difference?

It wouldn't matter if I asked her to a movie as a friend or asked her to the movies as a date. We'd still be at the movies

I'd consider asking someone out as asking them to be in a relationship. And honestly, being anywhere with them but school I would call a date.

[Syndaz]

I know you planned to do it on Facebook but saying it face to face has more meaning. Do whatever is most comfortable for you but just keep that in mind.

[Explosion-chan]

Go ahead and ask her out. You people don't seem to understand dating. You go on dates to learn about people. Dating doesn't automatically mean a relationship.

[Explosion-chan]

Also, movies isn't a good first date. You need to be able to talk in a first date. Take her to get coffee or something small.

[Explosion-chan]

That is exactly what it means. Perhaps im just too old, but in my day, asking someone out meant you were asking them to be in a relationship.

Not sure how old you are, but I've never heard of that being the case and I'm an old fashioned kind of guy.

[Python.]

Also, movies isn't a good first date. You need to be able to talk in a first date. Take her to get coffee or something small.

 

I was just gonna ask to hang around, listen to songs, maybe help each other with homework and get some ice cream at DQ

[Umbrella]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

 

dont ask people on the internet for relationship advice, youre supposed to do it yourself and if you fuck up, youll learn and improve

[NotWarlizard]

Your post made me smile since I know exactly what it feels like to feel that "connection". I've gone through the same situations when I was in high school (now I'm in college), and here is my advice after having though multiple girlfriends, dates, and flings.

 

I'll try to go point by point as to why, but a quick summary: ask her out in person Monday (or as soon as possible, not more than a week).

 

Disclaimer for anyone other than OP: this is my personal advice, you might think differently but this has worked for me, I took time from my life to help OP, not to argue with others.

 

Why as soon as possible? There are two main reasons as to why, the first one is making your intentions clear. You want to her know you feel attracted to her and want to get to know her (point of a date), therefore you both can make your minds up and avoiding the so famously called "friendzone". If you take weeks to ask her out and you keep talking like friends she will eventually loose the initial interest and you will fall in the friend zone, and possibly risking another guy asking her out. This is the same as momentum in physics, or initial hype of a tf2 update, you have to act quick and get the work done as soon as possible to later enjoy the rewards. The second reason is boldly asking her out shows true confidence, and there is nothing more attractive than a confident person who knows how to take the lead. She will perceive this and trust me your odds of success will increase.

 

Why in person? This is key to convey non-verbal communication. A facebook message, just like a text message or even a forum comment can be perceived in many different ways. You can come of as cute or ,very well, come of as creepy. "Hey, you know we've been talking and I feel like I want to get to know you so wanna go out with me?" In my mind I was trying to make it seem like it was coming from a socially awkward kid and I read it in a voice that matched, but you can read it as weird, cute, awkward, confident, not-confident, etc. Therefore in person she can perceive your true intentions and confidence. A good example, which was worked for me, to ask her out is the following: "Hey, you seem like an [interesting, cool, fun, mysterious...choose the word that you feel most comfortable with], and I want to get to know you better, how does coffee sound this weekend?" You can vary the words, but that was been my line many times and has worked flawless, you convey confidence, straightforwardness, comfortable, and that know what you want. Simple and to the point. You give her a "why" you're doing it, and you say "I want to go out", you don't ask her if she wants to go out directly, this is done to show that you take lead and it doesn't put all the pressure on her. At the same time you avoid awkwardly planning the place and date by killing three birds with one stone: time (this weekend), place (coffee), and the question itself of asking her out.

 

I can further give you more advice's if you'd like and feel free to ask me question of any kind.

 

I'll end my comment with two stories that can be relevant.

 

The first one takes place in high school, sophomore year, I was completely head over heals for a girl. She was gorgeous. This story is back when I was inexperienced and didn't have the knowledge I gained over time. I had never properly met her but yet there was something about her. I was moving to another country at the end of the year so I had about two months to ask her out. I told myself everyday "tomorrow I'll do it", and every day I gave an excuse as to why not. Finally there was two weeks left of school and I decide to send her a fb message asking her out. And here is where the story ends because she said she wasn't interested. I learned from this to grow balls and get what I want.

 

Second story takes after having multiple girlfriends and flings. I was at a concert and I saw this gorgeous girl, in my scale she was a 9/10. She was blonde, thin, nice face, etc; this made me crazy about her and I knew I had to meet her. She was with a group of friends but for a minute, out of the blue, she was alone, and I knew that was my only chance of asking for her number. I went for it, and it went perfect, she was completely open to my approach. I had made my intentions clear of getting her number, now I had to ask her out on a date. The following day we started texting and what not, and I boldly told her I wanted to go out with her. Since it was indeed quick she said she didn't know much about me, so we skyped that very day, and we ended up talking all night. Turns out we had the same music tastes, movies, pets, etc. (Just like in your OP) and that same day she agreed to the date. Long story short we dated for about 2 months then I asked her to be my girlfriend, and we lasted around 4 months from there.

 

Point of both stories: 1) FB is not an option. 2) Be confident and bold. (Not creepy though, there is a fine line that can only be learned with experience).

 

And honestly my best advice outside of asking her out is: try and try and try. If you fail move on and try again with another girl. Build confidence and you can get any girl. Don't be scared, just do it. Who cares what someone thinks or if she says no, brush it off and move on. I've had crazy experiences by simply not thinking twice, just do it. You won't die or go to jail, worst case scenario is you're gonna have to find another girl, and trust me there will ALWAYS be a better one. She is not "the one". This is the mentality of a truly confident person. There will be time to meet the girl you can settle down for, but for now worry more about having fun. And enjoy the roller coaster of emotions that highs cool is, you'll miss it.

[Birdy]

Since you said you wont have classes with her after the semester ends its a good idea not to wait, you could miss a chance. But also take in mind shes an introvert, she isnt showing her feeling. Just because shes talking to you doesnt necesarily mean she likes you. She could only see you as a good friend with things in common but secretly like someone else but doesnt show that. So ye take in mind asking her out could end up good or awkward and possibly you could lose her as a friend. If you do ask her out, do it face to face, maybe somewhere with less people. And as for a date, it would be better if you just took her for a walk, sat somewhere alone and just talked with her, get to know her even better. Anyway good luck with her and hopefully you'll get the best out of it, she seems like a really nice girl.

[Twins_Mercury]

Regardless of whatever you end up doing, I'll throw in a different kind of advice. Keep your emotions in check. You should be fine if you move along at a steady and controlled pace, but just be careful not to become obsessive. If things develop into a relationship be sure to remember the rest of the world around you as well and don't let the feelings take full control of your current life. Indulging in the lovely skies is fine, but remember to come back down to earth.

[Python.]

Yall are gonna make me run out of likes

 

3 posts of great advice in a row.

[MuffinsDad]

I would wait a month to see how you and her are together. Just see if you can keep the conversation fresh. Also, make sure she is in a good mental state so you don't put her in a bad position by telling her you want to date her.

[Teeny Tiny Cat]

Agree with cornaver and those giving similar advice in here. Asking someone on a date doesn't mean declaring your love or asking them to be your girlfriend, it's just asking if they wanna hang out and spend time together so you can get to know each other better. That's exactly what you wanna do, so I think it's a great idea.

[Spicy Ham]

asking gaming forums for relationship advice

fresh og cringe

 

if you're so spaghetti that you don't know how to approach asking someone out don't fucking do it because you'll just awkwardly fuck up

[Lib3l]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

 

dont ask people on the internet for relationship advice, youre supposed to do it yourself and if you fuck up, youll learn and improve

People on the internet are still real people that may of had real relationships. Sometimes people don't have anyone to turn to in real life for advice, you don't need to laugh at others. At least he was still brave enough to ask for advice.

 

I agree with Corvanor, just go for it. you are only asking to hang out to together, that could lead to a good friendship or more intermit relationship not just "going out".

[Tobiased]

Finished watching The FlashPoint Paradox, time to filter out that "what do i do now?" mindset with some horrid memories of 8th grade.

 

mind you i think i did this to Bone last year...

 

 

I'm your typical nerd, who has no clue or interest in this gimmic called "attraction"

I'd love to stay indoors, play games and draw. (this was just before i learned about Steam)

Oh and i was a rather bit of a douche to girls at the time. It was like me and my spelling. I was bad at it and i hated it.

She came to my school when i was 11. (gr. 6) I stuck it that she was just a snob with glasses. Perhaps i hated her the most, i'm not sure. So i payed no mind to her...

Until gr. 7 rolled around. Idk what in the world happened, puberty happened and slapped me in the back of the head

it was around the time we do our silly christmas concerts, and she decided not to wear her glasses, and put on a Santa Hat

I wasn't sure what i was feeling cause i'm a clueless fuck with attraction. But i thought about her in my downtime, and made an effort to see if she was ever around. I told nobody about it until gr. 8 started and she was in my class.

being 13 at the time, still a clueless fuck, i began to draw my favorite characters in-class in hopes she would notice me for it.

I got the attention of every other one, unfortunately. 

Anyways, i told my best friend first, and he never left me alone about it. We even had an ingenious codename to refer to her w/o spilling my one sided love story to anyone. For some reason, "pizza" was undecodeable.

It was leaked, and i think i figured out how, as i remember i let my friends play the guessing game. One of them guessed it right with good emphasis when she was around, but i quickly dispersed the idea.

days pass and i find myself suddenly being nice to everyone. Getting up early and making lots of female friends.

I even convinced myself to join the useless, small student council.

I poured my heart into the speech i had to make to join.

(If you really want me to put the speech i'll make a thread for it)

I was constantly trolled by some being outside my religion, cuz i was always cockblocked by 1 person in a seating arrangement near her. Perhaps i should be thankful as i would have sweat out a water bottle of stress if my wish came true.

My biased reason when asked for one when asked "why?" was her smile

It was pretty rare for me to get her to smile cuz i'm an unsocial scrub, but when i did it was worth it. 

about a month passed when i learned i had competition. The popular but tall guy everyone liked.

He's a good friend of mine and still is to this day. But i knew i was in rektville. Maybe even rektcity. rektworld? idk. but i knew it spelt doom for me.

I told him about it eventually and it ironically made us better friends about it. I thought i'd lose a friend.

I think i triggered everyone's feels. As everyone pretty much became emotional. and then this guy liked this girl. it was like watching the arrow and learn everyone else wields a flipping bow.

Let's talk about the cringy school dances. i hated them since gr. 7

The halloween one i sat out and regretted it all weekend after.

Then the valentine's one rolled around, and i told myself to do it before i turn 14 that month

I can't convey how uncomfortable i was working up the courage to ask her to dance.

I think everyone else shat more bricks than me in realization that i did it.

But it was an awesome feeling. blushing like a bastard who pissed himself. (i didn't, i made sure i did that beforehand)

Afterwards it was like i leveled up in some rpg game and everyone began to respect me more. 

then my birthday came along, and i pretty much invited every guy in my grade (about 20 of us)

I was too shy to invite any girls.

fast forward to spring, i can start drawing outside again. I even had a favorite tree to sit under at recess, beside the soccer field where we all benched the shit out of eachother in the winter. 

Aside from the crappy tree i tried to draw, the spot kept me at peace, aside from the lunch monitor who thought i had no friends.

It was also the center of all the general areas my crush decided to hangout. hehe.

Over the year, i loved gym, as i got to show off my mlg skills in the activities we participated in.

I shit you not, i was the best at dodgeball and European Handball (also scooter ball)

I'm the clone trooper of dodgeball, i miss every shot but i rarely get shot (sucessfully)

Aside from being called a nut in dodgeball, scooter ball was the best. they gave us these square boards with wheels to sit on and roll across the gym. i was smart and balanced my weight as a crab and used my hands and feet to propel myself to victory.

Still no creds for my skills, not even by my crush who i rekt alot in European Handball. kek

i think i've lost myself a bit here. Let's go back to February.

Yearly, grade 8's get to go on an epic religion retreat that's overnight.

we got to go in February, and we did some silly activities. but at night, we each got our own mini room to sleep in. Unfortunately, i was the one that got stuck with a semi-joined room with my annoying friend who snores. (sorry Kyle)

i learned which room my crush and her best friend were in when they told us our room numbers and i found it on a building map in my room. i convinced her to open her window, as i messaged her thankfully to the free internet.

it was cold out there but it was the closest thing i had to a romantic moment, but my friend kinda ruined it after. (thanks Kyle...)

 

 

 

I've rambled enough. anymore and i'll be reported for spam

 

tl;dr

Toby had a crush and is now a better person out of it.

 

but yeah python, go for it, and tell us how it goes. you owe us at least that.

[Python.]

Thank you everyone for the great advice. I know I've gotten some flak for posting this, but not much over what was expected.

 

Stay classy~

[NotWarlizard]

asking gaming forums for relationship advice

fresh og cringe

 

if you're so spaghetti that you don't know how to approach asking someone out don't fucking do it because you'll just awkwardly fuck up

 

Everyone has a first time for everything, and honestly the guy is taking steps to make it as best as possible, so instead you should encourage his efforts.

 

Also, I'm guessing you must be very insecure about yourself and probably not successful with relationships to make you want to write out such a salty comment. A happy person would either ignore or help out.

[Utsoob]

asking gaming forums for relationship advice

fresh og cringe

 

if you're so spaghetti that you don't know how to approach asking someone out don't fucking do it because you'll just awkwardly fuck up

My man Spicy telling whats up.

[Python.]

asking gaming forums for relationship advice

fresh og cringe

 

if you're so spaghetti that you don't know how to approach asking someone out don't fucking do it because you'll just awkwardly fuck up

 

I'm sure you have a girlfriend then, being as cocky as you are.

[Python.]

asking gaming forums for relationship advice

fresh og cringe

 

if you're so spaghetti that you don't know how to approach asking someone out don't fucking do it because you'll just awkwardly fuck up

 

I'm sure you have a girlfriend then, being as cocky as you are.

 

Edit: Oh I do love me a good double post