Limerick Thread

[Baloo]

As long as were making threads about poetry, I see it fit to make a thread about limericks.
 
If you do not know what a limerick is, then you may read up on it on the WIkipedia page.
 

Some popular, better-known limericks are as follows:

 

 

 

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket.

But his daughter, named Nan,

Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nantucket.

 

Source

 

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There once was a man from Peru

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.

He woke with a fright,

In the middle of the night

To see that his dream had come true.

 

 

 

My own limerick:
 

There once was a bear named Baloo,

Who wanted to paint himself blue.

He looked for some paint,

But then he felt faint,

The price seemed too high to be true.

[Pyroman]

There once was a man from Peru

Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.

He woke with a fright,

In the middle of the night

To see that his dream had come true.

Definitely not me.

 

There was this key in a crate

The result could've been great

But to my sight

It was full of shite

Man, I hate my fate.

[Santa Heavy]

In this thread I do not belong

For I rhyme like this a song

Although it's a crime

I'm no good at rhyme

 But at least I have a big dong

[MC22]

http://backpack.tf/vote/id/5118a99eba25363404000001

[There]

There was a user named There

Whose backpack was filled with just air

He wanted a key

Maybe two or three

But to lower the price, no one dare

 

Also, Baloo, I don't think you can rhyme "Baloo" with "blue"

[dixiecountry1971]

He wanted a unusual

One he could wear and make teh others jelly

He finally got one

He hated it

He sold it and lowered the price

 

Did I do gud?

[Hatch Rawer Beryl]

There once was a man named Hatch

Who's real name was Edward Thatch

Just kidding, that name is a fabrication

To mislead others is his avocation

And only sometimes does he meet his match

[Pyroman]

There once was a man named Hatch

Who's real name was Edward Thatch

Just kidding, that name is a fabrication

To mislead others is his avocation

And only sometimes does he meet his match

 

This man known as the Key Holder

Loves keeping proof in a folder.

To imitate Long is for what he would long

Problem is he has a short dong.

For him, keys will rise further.

[Hatch Rawer Beryl]

 

This man known as the Key Holder

Loves keeping proof in a folder.

To imitate Long is for what he would long

It's a good thing he has a long dong.

For him, keys will rise further.

 

 

1. The man who is number four

2. Is known to all as the Repwhore

3. Because his suggestions are complex

1. Despite that he couldn't be having less sex

2. In the end he will have a positive score

[Punishment_Fatal]

There was once a man with keys

Who was so full of glee

But was in shock

When there came a jock

Who had gotten more keys from killing trees

[Karam]

Once upon a time

KMD had such a little time

To drop the mighty bill's

And make people eat pills

To return to his prime

[∞Ramses]

There's a man from TF2

we all know him, so do you

but who knows him best, without a doubt

it's that beautiful mother of Scout.

Well, do you have any clue?

[Hatch Rawer Beryl]

The Medic of Team Fortress fame,
continues to find doves to tame
But one took a trip,
into the Scout's torso quick,
And only is freed when he's maimed.

 

The Heavy of Russian origin,
knows what must go within
A sandvich a day
will allow his medic to play
And his entire team to win.

 

The Soldier's distinctive flair,
lies in shooting those from the air.
A soaring rocket
launched at the Medic's pocket,
will make them scream "No fair!"

 

"Mmmph mmph mmph mmmph mph mmmph mph,
mmph mmph mmph mmph mph mph mmph mmph mmph"
when asked what this means,
the Pyro's face simply gleaned,
and said "Mmph mph mmph mmph mphh!"

 

The Demoman with one eye,
is keen to send bombs on the fly.
But with his half vision,
He lacks precision
and hits his team-mates, oh my!

 

A dream the Sniper had,
showed his parents not at all mad.
Though he desires attention
for his chosen profession,
He's "not a crazed gunman, Dad".

 

The Scout asked without a clue,
if we knew who we were talking to.
With a personal zeal,
He said he's kind of a big deal,
But we doubt that's completely true.

 

The Engineer from Texas hails,
is made mad when his equipment fails.
Though the Spy saps his stuff,
This makes him mad enough,
to kill him with shotgun bullet-hail.

 

The Spy is from somewhere in France,

And he's known to adopt a strange stance.

And if you're not quick,

you'll soon feel a prick

From his dagger (or else, from his "lance")

[The 4th Harbringer]

 

In this thread I do not belong

For I rhyme like this a song

Although it's a crime

I'm no good at rhyme

 But at least I have a big dong

 

There once lived a dude with a dong

And the dude put his zipper on wrong

When he gave it a zip

The zip gave it a rip

Now the dong is wider than it's long

[Pyroman]

 

There once lived a dude with a dong

And the dude put his zipper on wrong

When he gave it a zip

The zip gave it a rip

Now the dong is wider than it's long