-redacted- Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I'm currently dating a girl and we both like each other a lot. We're actively going on dates, and it's basically exclusive, but neither of us consider it to be "in a relationship." Stuff with her ex made her not ready for another relationship yet, but she does say she likes me a lot. Would it be accurate to say we're "dating?" Most people consider that to be in a relationship. run Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N!K Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Wow, that is actually a very nice quote.... I think I'll but this on my profile Its there now Not sure if being sarcastic or Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CUD Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I couldn't do that to her, no... You're an asshole then. You're no better than her, cheating on her boyfriend and you don't even have the decency to tell the guy. She doesn't care about either of you, the right thing to do would be to tell the boyfriend and both of you get away as far as you can from this scumbag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Explosion-chan Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 run There is absolutely no reason to, that's a horrible idea. If we end up being just friends and stay as close as we are now, that's a win for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaoticly Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Not sure if being sarcastic or Nah I was serious You're an asshole then. You're no better than her, cheating on her boyfriend and you don't even have the decency to tell the guy. She doesn't care about either of you, the right thing to do would be to tell the boyfriend and both of you get away as far as you can from this scumbag. Woah, you don't know exactly the details and my reasoning, so what if I don't want to? She treats him better than me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CUD Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Woah, you don't know exactly the details and my reasoning, so what if I don't want to? She treats him better than me anyway. What's your details and reasoning for cheating behind her boyfriend's back? You're an asshole if you don't want to. It doesn't matter if she treats him better, she's a piece of shit for going behind her boyfriend's back with you and you're not much better since you know she has a boyfriend. The right thing to do would be to tell the guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t0night Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 youll learn over time its perfectly good reason for suspicion. OP, I'd say you're technically dating. but since she's being a douche and saying you're not, I'd say for now you're just her ATM, where she puts in feelings and receives out money. listen to whoever you like OP, but i mean only one out of me and this guy is saying that the girl you're dating is "a douche", "suspicious" and manipulative with an extremely bare understanding of the facts and personalities involved to support any judgement. i would say one of us is jumping to conclusions and acting like we know all about women based on some pretty blatantly misogynist stereotype. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
t0night Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 What's your details and reasoning for cheating behind her boyfriend's back? You're an asshole if you don't want to. It doesn't matter if she treats him better, she's a piece of shit for going behind her boyfriend's back with you and you're not much better absolutely no better since you know she has a boyfriend. The right thing to do would be to tell the guy. people generally have the right idea though chaoticly. polyamorous relationships are one thing if everyone involved knows about it and is cool with it. when it's deceptive that is really really unhealthy for everyone. also your situation is nothing like the OPs but whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aethrozᴷᴹᴳᴸ Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Right now I'm in this strange relationship right now that's kinda similar to yours. She has me and a bf, but she considers to be a 'side chick'. It's not fun being in that position and I'm seriously thinking of ending it. End it now. You are hurting yourself, you are hurting him, and you are enabling her. You are cheating. You are enabling her to cheat. There is no worse thing in a relationship. I agree with what coolrocks said right above this post. If there is an actual triangle of love, ok. However, lying, going behind the other guys back, not good. I'm currently dating a girl and we both like each other a lot. We're actively going on dates, and it's basically exclusive, but neither of us consider it to be "in a relationship." Stuff with her ex made her not ready for another relationship yet, but she does say she likes me a lot. Would it be accurate to say we're "dating?" Most people consider that to be in a relationship. If she doesn't want labels, then alright, don't toss out labels. Most people would consider it dating. "In a relationship" is a VERY broad term. We have relationships with everyone we meet. Hell, you and I have a relationship now. What exactly that relationship is, is between you and her. You do need to figure that out, so that one of you does not become invested if the other does not want to be. That will be very painful for both of you. Talk with her. Stay away from labels, talk, be merry, enjoy your ladyfriend. Good luck to ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-redacted- Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 There is absolutely no reason to, that's a horrible idea. If we end up being just friends and stay as close as we are now, that's a win for me if a female cheats once, she will cheat again, she has no value for loyalty just trying to save you some heartache it really isnt worth it to pursue a relationship with a cheating whore you will lose in the end you will not end up being just friends if you are having sex with her but, dont listen to me, listen to your penis... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aethrozᴷᴹᴳᴸ Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 if a female cheats once, she will cheat again, she has no value for loyalty just trying to save you some heartache it really isnt worth it to pursue a relationship with a cheating whore you will lose in the end you will not end up being just friends if you are having sex with her but, dont listen to me, listen to your penis... That is a horrible outlook on women. Chill. Hopefully OP realizes troll... (please do) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JollyLilDudeManBro Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Only once it's Facebook official is it actually a relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-redacted- Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 That is a horrible outlook on women. Chill. Hopefully OP realizes troll... (please do) how is it horrible? there are types of women dude cheaters will always be cheaters loyalty is something you should look for first in a commitment, now if op is only after sex and good time, well then it will all be groovy im guessing you dont have much experience with women Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Explosion-chan Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 if a female cheats once, she will cheat again, she has no value for loyalty just trying to save you some heartache it really isnt worth it to pursue a relationship with a cheating whore you will lose in the end you will not end up being just friends if you are having sex with her but, dont listen to me, listen to your penis... I'm not screwing her, nobody is. She's not cheating on me, hell, we're not even in a relationship and she's only dating me. She hasn't cheated on anyone and I know some of her exs. how is it horrible? there are types of women dude cheaters will always be cheaters loyalty is something you should look for first in a commitment, now if op is only after sex and good time, well then it will all be groovy im guessing you dont have much experience with women You obviously didn't read the OP, nobody said anything about fucking, it was pretty obvious to the contrary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Teeny Tiny Cat Posted May 29, 2015 Administrators Share Posted May 29, 2015 how is it horrible? there are types of women dude cheaters will always be cheaters loyalty is something you should look for first in a commitment, now if op is only after sex and good time, well then it will all be groovy im guessing you dont have much experience with women Sounds like you have experience with being cheated on. Sorry if that was hard for you, but just because someone didn't value being loyal to you, doesn't mean they won't value loyalty to anyone. Once a cheater always a cheater is childish crap. People make mistakes, they learn, they grow, they treat some people badly and others better depending on many different factors. Such is life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CUD Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 That is a horrible outlook on women. Chill. Hopefully OP realizes troll... (please do) I wouldn't say it only applies to women, just cheaters in general. Sure "once a cheater, always a cheater" isn't necessarily true but I know I wouldn't trust someone who has cheated in the past. It's really not hard to not fuck someone else when you're in a monogamous relationship. If you think it is hard then don't agree to be in a relationship with someone in the first place. People that betray someone's trust like that and continue doing it behind their back are just scumbags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Derpeh♤ Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Hmmmmm quite a weird situation going on there metal :S Im not sure if i can help you much but ill dive into some of my history and hopefully will help you out a little! There was a time where I was somewhat chasing after someone however their parents wouldnt allow them to date until they had finished university. But we established that liked each other and did want to be in a relationship (We had known each other for roughly 2 years at that point where every day we would text, webcam each other) however due to the parents I told them I would just wait until university was over. We both went to the same university, did similar degrees and timetabled together so we could hang out during breaks and we were in a somewhat unofficial relationship. If people asked if we were dating I wouldnt know what to say while their response was no and I was okay with it because we technically never were bf/gf. Things were going okay for a while until they started to hang out with other people, started ignoring me in preference for others and started treating me like dirt. If I were to voice my concerns about them being so chummy with others the response was basically along the lines of "what's it matter". It was the truth because we were not officially dating I dont have any grounds to complain so I just dealt with it. It was weird for me because I was under the impression that I would wait until uni...etc however being treated that way was a bit too unbearable. I was still on the "waiting" road for roughly an entire year before I just got fed up and forced myself to "stop caring", I stopped bothering to text back, to meet up and spent my time with other great friends. Every now and then we would still text and meet up but yeah. Eventually I just moved on, but then they found out that I no longer "cared" started to talk to me a lot more...etc but it was already bit too late and just want to be good friends with them..etc (Wont be going further cuz too long and meh boring) TL;DR You need to make sure that your foundations of your relationship is on both ends. You may see it as a unofficial relationship because of her views. However you need to make clear to her that as long as you two are not official she will also need to be open to the idea that you might just date someone else. Dont be like me being strung for a year :S Right now I'm in this strange relationship right now that's kinda similar to yours. She has me and a bf, but she considers to be a 'side chick'. It's not fun being in that position and I'm seriously thinking of ending it. Woah, you don't know exactly the details and my reasoning, so what if I don't want to? She treats him better than me anyway. Regardless of how she treats the boyfriend doesnt matter, if she is cheating on the BF with you and you "go with it" the two of you are in my opinion the worse type of human being next to rapists and killers. Her boyfriend trusts her, believes in her that she is not cheating and you're here on the side being the "side chick" thinking that everything is fine. Put yourself in the boyfriend's shoes if he knew that his entire relationship is a lie? and you're there "allowing" it to happen? Tbh I dont care about your reasoning because everything that comes out of your mouth is now an excuse. Fact is she is officially dating someone else, and you're the "side chick". A relationship is between two people who trust each other and support each other, not where one person trusts and the other is putting up a front while back stabbing him constantly. Everything "nice" she does for him is no longer based off trust and/or liking the bf, everything is now a front, non-genuine and fake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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