I need some life advice

[TheEndAlt]

Hi forums. I need some advice. I’ve turned to damn near everyone I know and so far no one has come up with anything helpful other than, “oh god, I’m sorry your life is like this†to “this [situation] is a shitshow.†Because of the nature of my situation I have asked permission to post this under an alt. I've been on the forums for a few years now and have come to respect the opinions of this community. People who know me in real life know my online alias and if it were to come back that I did this the situation would get exponentially worse. I’m open to hearing out any suggestions, and if there is anything that you would like clarification on or are curious about, just ask. I know I need help and advice on this, so essentially nothing is off-limits as long as there is a valid reason for it being asked.

 

 

 

Last year I met a girl and I knew I liked her immediately. Let's call her Jill. Corny as shit, but true. I didn't know why, I just knew I did. I'm used to lowering my self esteem to the point of depression, so when I found out a friend of mine was trying to go out with her, let's call him Jack I decided I wasn't going to fight him for her. Now Jack is special to me because he basically is me aside from a few philosophical points. The "leader" of our group actually refused to introduce me to Jack for an entire year because he understood that I was either going to be best friends with Jack, or we were going to always be at each other's throats. I knew if I stayed that the latter would become true, so I forcefully removed myself from the friend group for 2 months to ensure I wouldn't get in the way and to try and kill off the feelings I had for her. For those 2 months everything I planned on happening occurred. Jack and Jill got together and I killed off any feelings I had for Jill, but they just came back once I put myself back in the friend group.

 

Things just kept getting more and more complicated as the year went on. I made an active effort to prevent my feelings from seeping out because she is in a relationship, but they kept seeping out here and there to the point where it has become fairly obvious to our friend group how I feel about her. Obvious to everyone but Jack, but more on that later. Over the year they fought, and when Jack fights he tries to cut as deep as he can as fast as he can. This has ranged from threatening to cheat on her (and how he would get away with it), to blacking out with rage (he never laid a hand on her, but she has admitted that she was physically terrified of him), to picking away at her insecurities for hours, and every time they fought, she has pulled me in to stand between them. It’s varied from physically bursting into his room to get her stuff to listening to her complain about him being an ass. This has led to a very unfortunate event in which I almost stabbed him because he thought it would be funny to pretend to beat her.

 

Now I have a lot of problems in my own right. I blacked out from rage when I was younger which has lead to several people getting hurt, with one such time I broke my father’s ribs, but I’ve worked for years on it. It no longer occurs when I don’t want it to and I can tap into it as needed, but I usually keep it locked away and use other means to solve problems. The issue is that there is something about Jill that scares my demons away. My anxiety over school, my social anxiety, my rage, everything that could be deemed a problem refuses to rear their heads around her, unless it is for her. The demons that I have worked at for years to control now willingly listen to someone I had known for less than half a year, and they listen to her over me. I’ve tried to used my rage around her, but it doesn’t listen to me if she is around. It’s honestly very freeing. My body has also been conditioned to wake up if I hear her knock or speak, I can’t sleep if she is around unless she falls asleep, I get stronger and more attentive, and my hearing and vision improve.

 

Fast forward over the year me and Jill became better friends. We’d go and do things every now and then between just the two of us, but I didn’t ever try to make it more than 2 friends hanging out. Just normal things here and there that make it look very off to the other members of our friend group, but we have a lot of the same interests so it just tended to work out that way. We’ve gone to the batting cages, movies, breakfast, Record Store Day, and a handful of other things, but more often than not these happen when she is fighting with Jack or as an excuse to talk to me about what my issues so she can try to fix them, which is basically what our friendship consists of for a fair amount of the last year. She shoves her nose into my problems when I don’t ask her to, and I shove my nose into her problems when they start pissing me off. I'm trying and have been trying over the last year to be fine with just being friends with her, and I really am fine with that, but she just keeps doing things that make me question what she wants out of this friendship. Aside from that, nothing negative comes out of our friendship except that she stops talking to me and avoids me for a few days after she leans on me when her and Jack fight.

 

I was hoping that after this school year started that shit would get better. Mostly since everyone was damn sure that they were going to break up, which honestly would solve a lot of the problems I have, but that has yet to happen. It honestly seemed like they were going to break up to me as well because all she did this summer was as me to distract her from problems he caused. Lately, it’s gotten to the point where I can’t physically eat around Jack and seeing them together creates nausea, which if not dealt with leads to vomiting and a feeling like someone is crushing my lungs. I’ve only found 2 fixes for this so far, and both are only temporary. I just leave and sit outside and the fresh air does wonders until I go back inside, or I take a double shot of whiskey to kill it off for an hour or two, but that fix is lessening as well because of the way my body reacts around her. She’s noticed that I’ve been drinking more, but doesn’t know why, so the buzz time is decreasing each time I use it.

 

The reason why I’m putting this out there is because I know I need advice and I know I’m on a clock. The “leader†of our group overheard me and Jack talking and pulled me aside the other night to talk. He doesn’t like to get involved in people’s affairs but told me he would if me, Jack, and Jill didn’t fix this shit on our own. His sway is basically if he get involved, the problem has gone way past being ok. He is the final straw. I can’t bring it up to Jill or I risk losing her as a friend and Jack won’t bring it up to Jill for fear of losing his relationship, so we are waiting on the one person who doesn’t know it is on her and she avoids her problems until she can’t anymore. So it seems like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, so I’m reaching out to try and figure out any possible solutions of anything I could have missed.

 

 

 

[Twins_Mercury]

Find a good psychiatrist who can help you deal with the issues. It isn't right for someone to have such a big influence on you and I think some proper medical help would let you stand on your own two feet again.

[apollothelion]

I honestly would like to talk to you; I understand you don't feel comfortable using your main. Would it be possible to talk to you on your alt over steam?

 

If not, I completely understand, but maybe I could help some is all.

[TheEndAlt]

Find a good psychiatrist who can help you deal with the issues. It isn't right for someone to have such a big influence on you and I think some proper medical help would let you stand on your own two feet again.

 

Psychiatrists and therapy haven't solved anything from my experience. I've seen several for unrelated family issues over the years but they always come back to questions I've already asked myself. I understand myself exceptionally well and it is rare that I don't understand why I react a certain way. I agree it isn't right for someone to have this large of an influence over me, but for the most part the positives outweigh the negatives.

 

I honestly would like to talk to you; I understand you don't feel comfortable using your main. Would it be possible to talk to you on your alt over steam?

 

If not, I completely understand, but maybe I could help some is all.

 

It would be possible. I'll finish setting up the steam account and add you.

[Chilled Soda]

how old are you? you make it sound as if the "leader of the group" is a mob boss or something with the final say

 

fuck everyone and anyone, do what will make you happy and if someone is stopping that, then its a purely destructive relationship and nothing good will come of it

the sooner you start putting your own personal well being ahead of others, the better. (Not saying there aren't times to be compassionate, but if you are suffering so someone else can achieve happiness then stop)

 

Wouldn't suggest the double shot whiskey, just leave and separate. You aren't being forced to hang out with them, so just stop altogether.

Jill seems like a bit of a pinhead. That shitty of a relationship and still involved? Go out with other friends in your group and start talking to other girls. 

 

 

Goodluck anyways, just remember to not idolize people 

[TheEndAlt]

how old are you? you make it sound as if the "leader of the group" is a mob boss or something with the final say

 

21. The whole "leader of the group" thing is because he was the one who brought this friend group together. For all intents and purposes he does have the final say. He just has that much pull with everyone in the group.

 

fuck everyone and anyone, do what will make you happy and if someone is stopping that, then its a purely destructive relationship and nothing good will come of it

the sooner you start putting your own personal well being ahead of others, the better. (Not saying there aren't times to be compassionate, but if you are suffering so someone else can achieve happiness then stop)

 

I stopped caring what people thought about me several years ago, so nothing stops me from doing what I want other than financial or physical limitations. There are only 3 or 4 people who's personal well-being I put before my own with one of them being Jill.

 

Wouldn't suggest the double shot whiskey, just leave and separate. You aren't being forced to hang out with them, so just stop altogether.

Jill seems like a bit of a pinhead. That shitty of a relationship and still involved? Go out with other friends in your group and start talking to other girls. 

 

I'd leave if I could, but me, Jack, and "leader" signed a lease on a place for the year, so I'm kind of stuck. I'm not forced to hang out with them, I'm forced to be around them. The other friends in the group are either people who lock themselves in their rooms or drunkards. The "leader" is more or less the only person who can get them to emerge from being antisocial. As far as other girls and other people go, I hate most of the ones I meet. That doesn't mean I've stopped trying, it's just that it took me almost 3 years of college to finally find people I don't hate to be around.

[metablack20109vr]

I have been kinda depressed and alone for a moment;i started to hate evryone,i felt like evryone was like a fucking asshole,dude,fuck that bitch,fuck evryone,start working out,hang out a lot,talk to new people,set up goals that you wanna achieve,work for them,and dont expect evryone to be good and such,so you dont get hurt 

[Zcrab]

Why do you still hang out with the two of them? It's bound to go off limits when you keep being around a girl you like, but she's taken. It's even worse when her boyfriend is your friend. It sounds like you are way closer to Jill than you should. I don't know if Jack is okay with you being so close to her, but I'd say he doesn't like it.

 

If I were you, I'd leave their relationship to themselves, you have to stop thinking about it like you do. Let them work it out, they'll break up for sure. Meanwhile, you should hang out with the other friends in your group and find some new people to hang out with. If you have fun with them, you'll be distracted from Jack and Jill's problems.

 

If you really hate almost everyone you meet, it's not them, it's probably you. You need to change your attitude somehow, and hang out with people even though they're not just like you. 

 

At last, what kind of friend group are you in mate? Having a leader? What's this, preschool? How come this guy this can chose what needs to be done?  That's no friend, that's a tyrant who needs to let people fight their own problems. Your friend group almost sounds some clan. 

[NotWarlizard]

Okay here are my two cents;

 

Jack is not the issue here at all, neither is Jill, the problem is you. You have to realize 2 things, you are obsessed with Jill and Jill is with another guy.

 

Jill just uses you as an emotional tampon, that's it; and here's the kicker, even if they break up she won't go for you since she does not respect you enough as a man. You're stuck in the friend zone, creating fantasies in your head to cope and justify your actions/thoughts. Everyone around you probably sees you as a "nice guy" and a "white knight", which you most certainly are; and you'll end up with no friends, including Jill, if you don't take the only solution their is.

 

This problem you're in is small, not big like you make it seem, and there is only one solution: get over Jill. There are approximately 3.5 billion girls in this world, out of which there are literally, and yes literally, thousand in your area that can fit the age/looks/personality criteria of yours. (Specially when in college)

 

You said it yourself, you have all sorts of anxiety, which you seem to be aware of but you don't seem to be aware of the problem which is low self esteem. So this brings me to the next point:

 

If you want to live the rest of your life as a miserable fuck don't follow the next steps.

 

1. Forget about Jill, you can choose to keep your friends or not, but Jill has to go.

2. Get rid of any object you have that can remind you of Jill.

3. Sign up for a gym, this will build you an amazing body, you'll feel proud of yourself, you'll have endorphin's feed you positive emotions, you'll feel strong and feel like a true man. And best of all: you'll cure the low self esteem. And even better: you'll get higher quality girls; and it'll be easy.

4. Find a hobby you can dump all your free time into, but not any hobby, a hobby that will build your future. In other words, video games are not a hobby you want to pursue, a hobby you want to pursue ideally makes you money, or builds a skill that will make you money in the future. (Side note: the gym should also become a hobby, and a true obsession)

5. Stop making yourself a victim, no one respects people like that.

6. Work on all the steps above, and you'll be happy and best of all you'll have a life to be proud of.

[Teeny Tiny Cat]

I don't really understand why you would keep yourself in this situation. Do you have any sense of whether this girl even likes you? You talk as if you're waiting for her relationship to be over so you can date her, but why? If she wanted to be with you, she probably wouldn't be dating your friend. If I was you, I would be honest with them both about how I felt... if they are actually your friends they would be understanding about that and you might even resolve some stuff. If your reaction to that idea is "no fucking way, I could never tell Jack and/or Jill" then they're not your friends and I have no idea why you are spending any time with people who make you so miserable. Stop hanging out with them, find a hobby or a distraction or something else to occupy your time, maybe something where you are likely to meet other people. Your entire friend group sounds dysfunctional and unhealthy.

 

I know you said you feel so much better around her and stuff but honestly, even without all the other stuff going on... that is not healthy. You can't rely on someone else to fix your issues for you, to make you feel better or sane or normal all the time. That kinda shit leads to co-dependant and not very healthy relationships. 

[A-money]

I can definitely feel you the girl's that I liked always seemed to get boyfriends, and I never had a girlfriend until I was 17 but idk if that would even count. Anyways I have bad anxiety like fucking bad I get those feelings too I can hardly breathe, eat or do anything. I also can kinda can not control my emotions all the time. Like me and my girlfriend now we do fight sometimes I mean not very much but when we do I can feel myself just putting her down a lot more than I need to. I will always feel so sorry afterwords and make up for it with her but still its like honestly that was not me and i dont know what the fuck it is but i swear I am a different person. Like if she has to work with a guy on a project or something I will just be like oh are you having fun with him or just stuff like that I am not sure the exact words but idk honestly. For your situation if you can be just friends with her than that is okay but I know sometimes it is hard to just stay friends and even though you say its fine inside it is not at all. If not then just not talking to her is good too yeah I know it hurts believe me I revert back sometimes where I will just cry or even seeing their name will just fuck me up mentally for a few days. I would certainly love to talk to you more about it. I have dealt with depression, anxiety, and all that fun stuff for years and I am lucky i didn't do something bad by now. Feel free to add me

[Foamy the Fearsome]

As someone who almost got stuck in a situation like that (minus the whole gang leader thing, that shit is whack; you shouldnt let others decide who you can and cant meet), I can confirm that letting her go is the only option. The whole "we may end up together if they break up" sounds great now, but I can assure you that even if it seems to be happening, its not. She'd have dumped him for you if she wanted that.

Look at it this way: it is clearly not meant to be, but if you do believe it is meant to be, then you can still let go. If it is in fact 'meant to be', she'll find her way (back) to you; no need to 'hold onto her'  or jump through hoops for her if thats really the case; it would run its natural course and happen
[this is a matter of speech, not saying shes actually coming back if you let go]

[HubertSuo]

Notwarlizard says it all; you need to associate your life better and not carry the burden anymore than what you can carry already.

 

Please don't deny the fact that you're chaining yourself for a girl who clearly can't defend herself, or to get help. Yearning for her for her break-up won't do you good, as she probably may weight you down with her doubts even more. Look for someone else. Go out and make new friends. If you can't leave for any reason; plug your ears with music and ignore the drama. If she needs you, but only to tackle your emotions worst, don't help her. She tied herself for a reason. And that's nothing but drama. Please, please don't hurt yourself (self-inflict, heavily on drugs or on alcohol, etc) on this girl. She's not worth a penny to keep your future up with by waiting.

 

I know this sounds repulsive and unbearable to withstand, but think about yourself before others.

[TheEndAlt]

Zcrab:

 

 

Why do you still hang out with the two of them? It's bound to go off limits when you keep being around a girl you like, but she's taken. It's even worse when her boyfriend is your friend. It sounds like you are way closer to Jill than you should. I don't know if Jack is okay with you being so close to her, but I'd say he doesn't like it.

 

If I were you, I'd leave their relationship to themselves, you have to stop thinking about it like you do. Let them work it out, they'll break up for sure. Meanwhile, you should hang out with the other friends in your group and find some new people to hang out with. If you have fun with them, you'll be distracted from Jack and Jill's problems.

 

If you really hate almost everyone you meet, it's not them, it's probably you. You need to change your attitude somehow, and hang out with people even though they're not just like you. 

 

At last, what kind of friend group are you in mate? Having a leader? What's this, preschool? How come this guy this can chose what needs to be done?  That's no friend, that's a tyrant who needs to let people fight their own problems. Your friend group almost sounds some clan. 

 

I don't hang out with them when the two of them are together, but the issue is I live with Jack and she lives in the building next to us. I've brought this up with Jack about how she treats me and he doesn't care. I keep my nose out of their business now and have tried to since they started going out, but she keeps roping me in, which I know is something I have to work on. An attitude change toward other people is probably warranted, but I don't hate them because they aren't just like me. Most of my friends are close to being polar opposites because I value that drastic change in perspective. I hate them because they are stupid, and if they aren't stupid their egos are massive. The leader thing is because he doesn't get involved. He remains neutral in everyone's affairs and damn near never steps in. The only time he does ever step in is if the problems start seeping into his own life or the situation has gone well beyond being terrible.

 

 

 

NotWarlizard:

 

 

Okay here are my two cents;

 

Jack is not the issue here at all, neither is Jill, the problem is you. You have to realize 2 things, you are obsessed with Jill and Jill is with another guy.

 

Jill just uses you as an emotional tampon, that's it; and here's the kicker, even if they break up she won't go for you since she does not respect you enough as a man. You're stuck in the friend zone, creating fantasies in your head to cope and justify your actions/thoughts. Everyone around you probably sees you as a "nice guy" and a "white knight", which you most certainly are; and you'll end up with no friends, including Jill, if you don't take the only solution their is.

 

This problem you're in is small, not big like you make it seem, and there is only one solution: get over Jill. There are approximately 3.5 billion girls in this world, out of which there are literally, and yes literally, thousand in your area that can fit the age/looks/personality criteria of yours. (Specially when in college)

 

You said it yourself, you have all sorts of anxiety, which you seem to be aware of but you don't seem to be aware of the problem which is low self esteem. So this brings me to the next point:

 

If you want to live the rest of your life as a miserable fuck don't follow the next steps.

 

1. Forget about Jill, you can choose to keep your friends or not, but Jill has to go.

2. Get rid of any object you have that can remind you of Jill.

3. Sign up for a gym, this will build you an amazing body, you'll feel proud of yourself, you'll have endorphin's feed you positive emotions, you'll feel strong and feel like a true man. And best of all: you'll cure the low self esteem. And even better: you'll get higher quality girls; and it'll be easy.

4. Find a hobby you can dump all your free time into, but not any hobby, a hobby that will build your future. In other words, video games are not a hobby you want to pursue, a hobby you want to pursue ideally makes you money, or builds a skill that will make you money in the future. (Side note: the gym should also become a hobby, and a true obsession)

5. Stop making yourself a victim, no one respects people like that.

6. Work on all the steps above, and you'll be happy and best of all you'll have a life to be proud of.

 

As far as girls go, I don't care about dating. It's just something that I never really took a lot of consideration towards. There are only 2 people that I have met that have had this kind of power over me: Jill and a friend who doesn't talk to me anymore.

 

1. Trying to do that, but it is difficult when there is a high chance she is just in my living room when I either wake up or get back from class.

2. Some of the stuff I can't really get rid of, but I see the point you are trying to make. I'll remove what I can.

3. Gym's are an issue. She had me go the gym over summer and tries to drag me there now. I've gone with the alternative of exercising in my room and jogging around my apartment complex.

4. Will look into it.

5. Understood.

 

 

 

Teeny Tiny Cat:

 

 

I don't really understand why you would keep yourself in this situation. Do you have any sense of whether this girl even likes you? You talk as if you're waiting for her relationship to be over so you can date her, but why? If she wanted to be with you, she probably wouldn't be dating your friend. If I was you, I would be honest with them both about how I felt... if they are actually your friends they would be understanding about that and you might even resolve some stuff. If your reaction to that idea is "no fucking way, I could never tell Jack and/or Jill" then they're not your friends and I have no idea why you are spending any time with people who make you so miserable. Stop hanging out with them, find a hobby or a distraction or something else to occupy your time, maybe something where you are likely to meet other people. Your entire friend group sounds dysfunctional and unhealthy.

 

I know you said you feel so much better around her and stuff but honestly, even without all the other stuff going on... that is not healthy. You can't rely on someone else to fix your issues for you, to make you feel better or sane or normal all the time. That kinda shit leads to co-dependant and not very healthy relationships. 

 

I'm more or less forced to be in this situation since I live with Jack. I remove myself when I can, but sometimes removal isn't an option. As far as her liking me, I really can't tell unless people are blunt about it. My issue with my self-esteem tends to make everything seem like no, but there is just some stuff that bugs me. Like for her birthday we went to the beach around midnight. It was her roommates, Jack, me, and a dude so white he could be wonder bread. On the way back from the beach she was sitting between me and Jack and then she just randomly starts nibbling on my arm. I tried to pay no mind to it and she eventually stopped, but then she passed out leaning on me. Then with the batting cages and Record Store Day, even a breakfast or 2, they were all things she asked me to do and it just ended up being the two of us. I've recently been honest with Jack, like a week back and just have been staying honest with him since. I confirmed a fair chunk of stuff for Jill at the end of summer, and since then she hasn't been leaning on me. The only time I'm miserable is when they are together. I'm fine being around Jill and our other friends if Jack isn't around and vice versa except I need to be outside or take my double shot if I want to eat around Jack. The friend group is very dysfunctional, but we are engineering students who are more or less on the same wavelength of crazy. I don't try to be around her because it makes me feel better, that's more of a bonus.

 

 

 

Foamy:

 

 

As someone who almost got stuck in a situation like that (minus the whole gang leader thing, that shit is whack; you shouldnt let others decide who you can and cant meet), I can confirm that letting her go is the only option. The whole "we may end up together if they break up" sounds great now, but I can assure you that even if it seems to be happening, its not. She'd have dumped him for you if she wanted that.

Look at it this way: it is clearly not meant to be, but if you do believe it is meant to be, then you can still let go. If it is in fact 'meant to be', she'll find her way (back) to you; no need to 'hold onto her'  or jump through hoops for her if thats really the case; it would run its natural course and happen
[this is a matter of speech, not saying shes actually coming back if you let go]

 

It honestly isn't a "we may end up together if they break up" mentality. It's more hoping they break up so she isn't always in my apartment and then there is a chance I can have a normal friendship with her.

 

 

 

[Teeny Tiny Cat]

I'm more or less forced to be in this situation since I live with Jack. I remove myself when I can, but sometimes removal isn't an option. As far as her liking me, I really can't tell unless people are blunt about it. My issue with my self-esteem tends to make everything seem like no, but there is just some stuff that bugs me. Like for her birthday we went to the beach around midnight. It was her roommates, Jack, me, and a dude so white he could be wonder bread. On the way back from the beach she was sitting between me and Jack and then she just randomly starts nibbling on my arm. I tried to pay no mind to it and she eventually stopped, but then she passed out leaning on me. Then with the batting cages and Record Store Day, even a breakfast or 2, they were all things she asked me to do and it just ended up being the two of us. I've recently been honest with Jack, like a week back and just have been staying honest with him since. I confirmed a fair chunk of stuff for Jill at the end of summer, and since then she hasn't been leaning on me. The only time I'm miserable is when they are together. I'm fine being around Jill and our other friends if Jack isn't around and vice versa except I need to be outside or take my double shot if I want to eat around Jack. The friend group is very dysfunctional, but we are engineering students who are more or less on the same wavelength of crazy. I don't try to be around her because it makes me feel better, that's more of a bonus.

 

Do other things, outside the house, in your room, whatever... away from them. Find hobbies where you meet other people. Hell, talk to people online. Stop spending time with them, and find different roommates when your lease is up. 

[HarryG]

I'm not reading any of these responses so apologies if I'm rehashing stuff that others have said, but this just seems like a catch 22. I personally wouldn't associate with those people anymore, it just seems kind of obnoxious and scummy. It might suck to stop being around Jill, but overall it sounds like the negative heavily outweighs the positive. Probably time to end that chapter in your life.

[NotWarlizard]

Zcrab:

 

 

 

I don't hang out with them when the two of them are together, but the issue is I live with Jack and she lives in the building next to us. I've brought this up with Jack about how she treats me and he doesn't care. I keep my nose out of their business now and have tried to since they started going out, but she keeps roping me in, which I know is something I have to work on. An attitude change toward other people is probably warranted, but I don't hate them because they aren't just like me. Most of my friends are close to being polar opposites because I value that drastic change in perspective. I hate them because they are stupid, and if they aren't stupid their egos are massive. The leader thing is because he doesn't get involved. He remains neutral in everyone's affairs and damn near never steps in. The only time he does ever step in is if the problems start seeping into his own life or the situation has gone well beyond being terrible.

 

 

 

NotWarlizard:

 

 

 

As far as girls go, I don't care about dating. It's just something that I never really took a lot of consideration towards. There are only 2 people that I have met that have had this kind of power over me: Jill and a friend who doesn't talk to me anymore.

 

1. Trying to do that, but it is difficult when there is a high chance she is just in my living room when I either wake up or get back from class.

2. Some of the stuff I can't really get rid of, but I see the point you are trying to make. I'll remove what I can.

3. Gym's are an issue. She had me go the gym over summer and tries to drag me there now. I've gone with the alternative of exercising in my room and jogging around my apartment complex.

4. Will look into it.

5. Understood.

 

 

 

Teeny Tiny Cat:

 

 

 

I'm more or less forced to be in this situation since I live with Jack. I remove myself when I can, but sometimes removal isn't an option. As far as her liking me, I really can't tell unless people are blunt about it. My issue with my self-esteem tends to make everything seem like no, but there is just some stuff that bugs me. Like for her birthday we went to the beach around midnight. It was her roommates, Jack, me, and a dude so white he could be wonder bread. On the way back from the beach she was sitting between me and Jack and then she just randomly starts nibbling on my arm. I tried to pay no mind to it and she eventually stopped, but then she passed out leaning on me. Then with the batting cages and Record Store Day, even a breakfast or 2, they were all things she asked me to do and it just ended up being the two of us. I've recently been honest with Jack, like a week back and just have been staying honest with him since. I confirmed a fair chunk of stuff for Jill at the end of summer, and since then she hasn't been leaning on me. The only time I'm miserable is when they are together. I'm fine being around Jill and our other friends if Jack isn't around and vice versa except I need to be outside or take my double shot if I want to eat around Jack. The friend group is very dysfunctional, but we are engineering students who are more or less on the same wavelength of crazy. I don't try to be around her because it makes me feel better, that's more of a bonus.

 

 

 

Foamy:

 

 

 

It honestly isn't a "we may end up together if they break up" mentality. It's more hoping they break up so she isn't always in my apartment and then there is a chance I can have a normal friendship with her.

 

 

 

Honestly, just move on bro. You are just justifying every move and you won't listen to anyone even if you ask for help.

 

If you don't care about dating then who the fuck cares if jill is with jack? It's their life, and it's time to live your own life.

[TheMCBros99]

What is over the valley?