Explosion-chan Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 What are you opinions on dating single mothers? I'm asking because there have been a couple of girls with children that I'm tempted to ask on dates, but my parents are very conservative and I doubt they'd approve. I want my parents to approve of my life decisions, especially the people I date. Along with your opinion, any suggestions on how to convince my parents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFFIRMATIVE Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Unless you want to find out the statistics of people's lives income when they have relationships with single mothers or something of sorts then this topic would've been better suited in general discussions. Your parents would have a good reason to be dismissive about this, are you prepared at 18 years old to have a relationship with a child in it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Explosion-chan Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Snip I put it here because of the conservative nature of my parents being a factor. I'm already working as are the girls I've considered, so I consider myself ready. It's just dating anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFFIRMATIVE Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 It depends if the kind of relationship you want would be the same kind that the woman you ask for it also wants. From an outside perspective, if its nothing serious and want to hang out with her then you should assure that its the same thing she also wants and tell her that. If its just limited to trivial things without any sort of serious commitment then a big reason why your parents would be dismissive of this is the fact that your relationship would turn into a serious one and they wouldn't think you would be prepared at this age to commit yourself in this type of relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♥Sel♥ <☼> Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Dating, yes. Be together with her longterm, maybe. Marry her, unless you got a really well-paying job and you love risk, no. It depends on how old she is, but if she is around your age (~18?) and already has a child but (apparently) was abandoned by the father that makes for not the best display of someone having a plan for their life/ shows this person made some poor decisions. What your parents think shouldn't matter, but be careful. If it turns out to be a relationship make it sure where you stand or she might think you want to stay with her/ accept the child/ marry her. For once it would be unfair to dissapoint her, on the other side you should think more than twice before accepting a child from someone else and all the costs/ moral weight it brings just because you love the mother. In my opinion 18-9 (if you stay with her) is too young to be a father. Convincing your parents... good luck with that. P.S.: My mother was in a similar situation as that girl, being pregnant with my half-sister at that time. Luckily she met my father and now (30+ years later) they are still a happily married couple. So I guess it can work, but it wasn't easy. The acceptance from my fathers family was extraordinary from the beginning as Ive been told, but again we don't know your parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Derpeh♤ Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 It's just dating anyways. Just saying but most likely a woman with a child will definitely not be looking for someone who is "it's just dating" and if they are you should probably stay away from them. Any single mother who is screwing around without proper consideration for their own child is someone you should avoid. If she is a decent mother she would be placing her child first, if you can deal with that and the fact that you will probably have to provide for the child as well bring the kid on dates...etc go for it. Imo every girl you date should be someone you can see a potential future with, it should be someone you really connect with and can potentially have a serious relationship with. "Just dating/playing" around for now looks appealing but when you get older you realise you wasted a lot of time in your life. Also you dont seem to have put any thought for the child and anyone who is asking for advice to ask for permission from parents is enough for me to say you arnt in any right mind set to be the one taking care of a child. This is kinda harsh but from what I can see and your statuses I dont think you've actually thought about what you are doing, you dont seem mature at all and you havent givent any consideration for the child. If anything I would feel sorry for the child if you do end up with her. You can't be "it's just dating" with a single parent... If it so happens to be that you're a mature adult (late 20s) and you still need your parent's permission for dating a girl I question your life and dating should be the last thing on your mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dabaers Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Absolutely no way. I'm not taking care of another man's child. She wants me to help take care of the child, I'm not falling for that. I never want kids. And I never want to be married. This just makes it even worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♛ AlphaOmega ♛ Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Whatever makes YOU happy man. So long as you understand the ramifications if it escalates from just dating, then i think there is no problem. Your parents will move on from this world. Its simply cycle of life, a cold hard truth. Their approval wont mean anything when you are sitting alone because they didnt like the girl you loved. It is good to have their blessing, but true parents, whether traditional or not, will love their child no less. This is my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apollothelion Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 As many people said earlier, single mothers wouldnt be looking for just a datng relationship. There are a lot more comlications then you would think. If you aren't prepared for a serious relationship and forming a bond with that child thrn I would say stay away. As said earlier as well, have a child at a young age does suggest not planning for the future. Also you want to make sure that the woman can support her child on her own, and isnt looking for just someone to cut the cost to put it crudely. I hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Explosion-chan Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 snip At least one of the women I've considered has a better paying job than me. For everyone bitching about how I said it's "Just dating" I don't think you understand that I haven't made that kind of contact with any of them yet, and a date is still just a date. You don't go on one date and have a super serious relationship already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crabislav Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 This is getting kind of annoying actually, you know what I mean. Why would you ask such questions on a gaming forum full of 12 year olds when you could go to some related reddit where people actually talk seriously about that? Anyway, no way in hell unless you have a serious intention to make a family later. When I date anyone, I'm thinking of future / family / etc first. I don't see any reason in dating just to date or because everyone else's dating. And in your place, I would need her to give birth to a child of mine, otherwise that's a no, no matter what. I can't fucking believe I'm posting thread-realted shit, the fuck am I even doing here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♠Derpeh♤ Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 At least one of the women I've considered has a better paying job than me.For everyone bitching about how I said it's "Just dating" I don't think you understand that I haven't made that kind of contact with any of them yet, and a date is still just a date. You don't go on one date and have a super serious relationship already. That's a woman who has a better paying job that you who also needs to provide for her child. I dont think you fully understand what that means yet... I'm fairly certain most of us are speaking based off what we can gather from your activity on the forums and your status updates, you most definitely dont go on one date and have a serious relationship but you most certainly should never get into a relationship with the notion that you will just be playing around, let alone someone who has to take care of their child. The fact that you're on a bloody forum asking how to get parental approval makes me question your maturity and if you full grasp what you are trying to get yourself into :L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFFIRMATIVE Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 At least one of the women I've considered has a better paying job than me. For everyone bitching about how I said it's "Just dating" I don't think you understand that I haven't made that kind of contact with any of them yet, and a date is still just a date. You don't go on one date and have a super serious relationship already. People have conflicts because it doesn't correspond with their own definition of "dating" For some people, a date is a very huge deal because it could be the foundation of a starting relationship, or even already a relationship that is starting, not a single entity of its own without any advancement. You shouldn't be too surprised because its a very subjective topic to discuss about. Its easy to misunderstand these types of details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apollothelion Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 At least one of the women I've considered has a better paying job than me. For everyone bitching about how I said it's "Just dating" I don't think you understand that I haven't made that kind of contact with any of them yet, and a date is still just a date. You don't go on one date and have a super serious relationship already. I'm not bitching at you if I was included in that. I'm just saying typically people who have a child, don't just think about just dating (meaning that they are looking for something more serious.) I didn't even get to type all I wanted cause phone typing is too hard. Here are the basic points I think you need to think about: Are you in it for the long run? (Getting attached to the women's child would become an issue, I know people who have dealt with that kind of shit) Is it for sure that the father is no longer around? (Typically when you have a child with someone you are always connected to them.) Are you actually okay if things got serious, to become a dad kind of thing to that kid? Dating is a subjective topic, and I mean you have to think about all that comes with that person. Baggage basically. I've seen it work for some people, and not for others. It kinds depends on how comfortable you are about it. Also understand that if you want your parents to be chill with it, you have to be open about what you think of this, and thats it really. On a last note, theres no harm in giving it a chance per say, just keep in mind that you'll be affecting the kid as well. I'm curious to what you decide and take from it, I'd love to hear your side of things on perhaps some of these points. I find it quite interesting. All in all. Best of Luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gtking616 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 This is getting kind of annoying actually, you know what I mean. Why would you ask such questions on a gaming forum full of 12 year olds when you could go to some related reddit where people actually talk seriously about that? Anyway, no way in hell unless you have a serious intention to make a family later. When I date anyone, I'm thinking of future / family / etc first. I don't see any reason in dating just to date or because everyone else's dating. And in your place, I would need her to give birth to a child of mine, otherwise that's a no, no matter what. I can't fucking believe I'm posting thread-realted shit, the fuck am even doing here. Basically. Don't know why the OP is even bothering on here, most of these people don't even have the life experience to properly guide him anywhere helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Budi Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 You can do it, but to be honest, as a 18 year old, you are way too young to be put in a position of having to be responsible for another child's life. Your 18-25 years should be about exploring dating and getting to know what you like and don't like. You definitely could date women with children, but you have to ask yourself what are your motives then? If you don't see any future where you'd get serious with a woman with a child, then why go through with dating them and waste both of your time. You also would hope the woman has good intentions if she is starting to date again, but yes as others have said they need to put their child first, and if they aren't doing that, then they probably aren't good relationship material. And if they were putting their child first, why would they date somebody who is 18 who hasn't even gone through college yet, probably doesn't have a stable career, and is just learning who they are themselves? I'm not meaning to put down 18 year olds, but the point is at that age you aren't ready for children. I'm 33 and I'm just now getting married in 8 months and will have kids in 1-2 years. I think back to when I was 18-21 and I wasn't even close to being ready to have a family. If you would be open to having a child in your household with another father, you then have a whole other set of questions that would arise. You need to consider, is the dad in the picture at all? Is the dad a good role model and father, or a complete pain in the ass. Would you have children with the woman and then consider adopting the stepchild? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gent♥ Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Short answer? No. Long answer? F*ck no. I can't really add anything to that. It'd be the biggest mistake of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cąℓσceđrus ☁☽ Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 if a woman becomes a single mother it is because of severe character flaws in herself steer clear unless you want to be considering suicide in the near future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFFIRMATIVE Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 if a woman becomes a single mother it is because of severe character flaws in herself steer clear unless you want to be considering suicide in the near future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cąℓσceđrus ☁☽ Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 great rebuttal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apollothelion Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 if a woman becomes a single mother it is because of severe character flaws in herself steer clear unless you want to be considering suicide in the near future That is really fucking vague. And sexist. And just all around stupid. Single mothers happen because of many reasons, but the more important thing is how they deal with it. Do they drop the child off at their parents and just run off? Or do they get a job and support their family? When did they have a child? Did they think it through? etc etc. Single mothers also includes divorcees in that terminology, teen moms are sub category... You can't just smoosh them together and be like ayyyy lmao. And there are also single fathers..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Python. Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 if a woman becomes a single mother it is because of severe character flaws in herself steer clear unless you want to be considering suicide in the near future W-what...? This is just...this is gold. I have no words. Just. If you read this and felt your IQ drop, you have some common sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFFIRMATIVE Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 great rebuttal Thank you, i'm used to give silly responses to equally silly statements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polar Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 A single mother at 16-18 who is still in high school is very different from a single mother at 25-30 who has a stable job and her shit together. Definitely a "no" on the former. So for me the question is less about whether the person is a mother and more about their maturity and character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Dusk Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 if youre an adult you shouldnt care about what your parents think, unless theyre teen mothers. then dating them would be like asking to fuck your life up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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