CecilyLovesYou<3™ Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Before you continue on, do note that I'm bisexual, and it is online dating. I'm sorry if you find this silly or retarded, but if you're gonna be rude about it, please leave. So hello guys, and about a few weeks earlier I asked a girl out, which she said yes. And her name is Shayla. Our backstory was rather complicated. We first added each other last year out of boredom through meeting in a steam group. But as we are rather shy individuals, we didn't talk a lot, and all the interaction there is was her sending links to me and asking me for feedback on her artwork or her random anime group invites. At May, 2015, I realized my mistake, and I texted her to try to be friends again, hopefully for real instead of before. And we became fast friends, up to a point where we are calling each other steam sisters. However, I did develop a crush on her when we were interacting, but sadly she was taken, and as soon as she broke up in June, I quickly asked her out. However, luck decided to play with me as she already planned to go out with a server owner in TF2, which we then fought, as I was rather pissed off when I figured my attempts are screwed over. She deleted me for bitching on this, and I asked for Python to help me with it. He managed to make truce with me and her, but our friendship is kinda at stake already. After a week, I realized that she wasn't talkingas often, and I told her about this. But instead, she came up with excuses such as her being busy, or distracting the topic completely. And once again, telling her to stop with her attention whoring towards everyone, she got pissed and we fought again, this time she blocked me for real. Soon, she got a profile raid on my profile, and as some of you might know, many have stood up to protect me, and she left soon afterwards. She came back again in a week, having casual talks with me as two drama queens come to my profile to raid me. She defended me, but I told her to stop and told her to leave, as I never hated her at the first place. I also offered for the people to focus on me instead of her, and after all this is done, she unblocked me and told me that she missed me dearly, and she broke up. I then tried to ask her out for a 3rd time, it worked, and we're officially dating. But wait, this isn't what I'm asking for help. So as soon as we started dating, she was being extra nice and friendly to me, but in a week, she started to ignore me again like usual. Worse, she refused to talk about certain things, and either distracts the topic or not ignore me completely. She also told me she had online sex with other boys, which I told her to stop, and she kinda did. She also explained every night on Facebook to me on how she's having problems with her school work/self appearance and esteem as well. She even cried herself to sleep and self harmed herself. But yet she wants to face all the problems by herself, and not letting me even help. When I have problems, she rarely helps as well. I fear this will turn into a disaster soon. She was a nice girl, and I don't want to end this relationship already to be honest. Any advice or suggestions on what I should do? This is really getting stressful for me. With all the acts of ignoring me and she hurting herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
puddingkip Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 She very much does not seem interested (anymore) in you in a sexual way. You should accept that and respect her decisions. Yes it's hard for her and for you but that's life. Cut your losses, accept her autonomy and move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobsplosion Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Before I read through this, why are you asking for relationship advice at the 13-year-old convention of the world? Surely you could get more sound advice elsewhere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the uchiha madara meme Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 · Hidden by puddingkip, July 25, 2015 - No reason given Hidden by puddingkip, July 25, 2015 - No reason given i thought this was a trading forum Link to comment
Senpai Absol~ Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I shouldn't reflect this onto my own real life relationship (well my Ex) My Ex(IRL keep in mind) would come on the server i'm mod on and flirt with the guys to tease me and make me mad, it took a while but I got her to stop, she said she just wanted to make sure I cared and all. If somebody doesn't respect you enough not to do shit like that, they aren't worth it in the slight. She also explained every night on Facebook to me on how she's having problems with her school work/self appearance and esteem as well I had the same problem as well, my Ex kept trying to help me with certain things but I'm the type of person to not ask for help. It all depends on the person really, but doesn't mean you shouldn't try. the self harming is a issue, I've had plenty of friends that have gone though doing that (I use to as well, Until ex found out and I had check up's everyday, so I stopped and haven't done it in 6 or so months) she obviously needs help for this. inb4 somebody say's "edgy" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
77777777777777777777777777 Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 If she really loves you, odds are she'll stop ERPing with dudes online. I think I can relate to her, I have a looooot of problems nobody but me can help me with... but know this; you can help her by just talking about it, trying to suggest solutions, or just understanding her and being there for her. She might feel like she doesn't want to allow anyone in her bubble, so maybe you need to get closer to her. I have no idea of how she thinks, of her thought process or what she feels like towards this whole thing. Lust and love are two very different things, but it sounds like she came back to you as a last resort when she broke up, not because she was truly interested in you. What would I do? Well, you seem to really care about her, so try to stick with her and just talk to her about her issues. You don't need to strangle her and destroy her private space, give her some breathing room, but let her know you're here for her. I know that'd make me feel better, even if a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Shako Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. I would get out before it gets to infected. A relationship shouldn't be a chore you know. Sure, it can have its ups and downs but here it sounds like you have a lot of the downs and very little of the ups. You can still be a friend and support her but you both probably need some space and time to think and reflect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Python. Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Like I said on Steam, you seemed to be rushing things since the 2 weeks have past, which you promised to work on While I understand you don't want to lose her again, you have to look at the situation If neither of you are or even act happy, the relationship is at a standstill In my opinion, partners should hold each other up more than friends. If she's worried about losing friends for prioritizing you over them, I think it's time to move on, or just stay friends for the time being Her habits aren't something you should be controlling, rather, encouraging. If you have a problem with some of them, again, it's best to move on I want what's best for both of you, without either of you harming each other or yourselves. If this still isn't solved in a week, I don't think it'll work out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreadscope Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 My advice for this: Keep your name anonymous and post on reddit. Keep her name anonymous too. Trust me, there is a lot more option on reddut for debating on the best solution for you and chances are, ALOT more people could come out and discuss similar situations on reddit than rather here on a hat simulator forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmf Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 if you're serious about wanting a solid relationship with her, take it a bit slower. after just having resolved a rather big issue and going straight into a relationship seems like rushed stuffs to me. give it a little time, and things should work out eventually. in the meantime, if shes having troubles irl (i.e self -harming and whatnot), i suggest you press on her rather hard that youd like to help her. but if not the advice above should be sufficient enuf to back off and live a easier life. good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fmca Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Personally I've never recommended online/long-distance relationships. Sure, it can work for some people but I do think there is something about the evolutionary processes in our brains that requires face-to-face human contact for this sort of thing to work out. If there was all this drama IRL I would say probably back off and try to move on. It seems unhealthy and as others have said she seems to be treating you more as a last resort than anything else. Because it's online my only real advice would be to try not to get involved to that point because you don't know if you'll ever meet someone you're in an online relationship with. Our bonds of connection don't really push through the computer screens that well IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A-money Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Well me and minty's relationship is pretty complicated. we threaten to break up pretty often, but we have stayed together for a little while now.You have to have some sort of trust with your partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N!K Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 I'll have more input when I'm sober and not half asleep but I'd just like to point out it says she's single on her steam profile custom box relationship status thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators Teeny Tiny Cat Posted July 25, 2015 Administrators Share Posted July 25, 2015 I already gave you advice on this, so I won't say a ton here, but life's too short to waste time on people who are a net negative in your life. Even if you care about her, if she doesn't make you happy then it's probably not worth it, as there is certainly someone out there who will. The fact that you're seeking endless advice from others about this stuff rather than being able to communicate with her is not a good thing. Relationships never work if you can't communicate well between you, in my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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