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Toby is a nub who I originally thought was a Japanese idiot, but apparantley he's British and lives in Murica.

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Gabe Newell’s Midnight Snack

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Late at night in the Newell household, the clock becomes closer nearing to midnight. Five, four, three, two, one. Midnight Gabe awakes in a fit of cold sweat. Not having eaten in half an hour has really taken its toll. "I’m going to the kitchen" said Gabe as he went to the kitchen. "I wonder what I will have. A burger or a turkey leg or a..." Gabe saw a painting, it was the sexiest damn chocolate bar you had ever seen. He looked in the fridge and looked hard the pantry and the sink. There wasn’t a single chocolate bar to be found. "TO THE GABEN MOBILE!" screamed Gabe Newell waking up everyone in his mansion. He went to his computer and typed the password: originsuxbalz And suddenly a wall opened to reveal a life size Dr Breen bust on a pillar like in Half-Life 2. Gabe pulled Breen’s head back and suddenly a wall opened to reveal a book shelf. Gabe looked to find a book titled: The Unfortunate Stopping of a Gaben. He pulled it back and suddenly a wall opened to reveal an elevator shaft with a ladder. Gabe dived down the shaft and landed in a car shaped like a valve. Gabe was driving down the street in The Gaben Mobile when he stopped at a house. The name on mailbox said: Walker residence. Gabe screamed "ROBIN GET IN" and a young Australian boy in black, red and green clothing got in. "Let’s go" said robin in his award winning Morgan Freeman impression.

12:30 am, 7/11 time

"Holy seven eleven Gaben" said Robin as they pulled in. "Wait here as i get chocolate." "Do we need to buy gasoline?" "Ha ha ha of course not robin, THE GABEN MOBILE IS POWERED BY STEAM HA HA HA HA." And Gaben jump out of the car and into the store. "Hello welcome to 7/11 may I get you som'in?" said the southern store owner. "THIS!" said Gabe as he held up the painting. "That’ll be 2.49." Gabe forgot his wallet in his mansion. "Can I give you something else?" "We take money here. That or the only copy of the source code to Half-Life 3." Gabe held both in his hands weighing them. Chocolate in one hand and a hard drive with Half-Life 3 on it in the other. Gabe threw the hard drive at the store owner and ran out with chocolate in hand.

1:00 am, The Lighthouse

Gabe was about to take a bite of his chocolate bar when Robin betrayed him and punched him in the face taking his chocolate bar and grapple hooking up to the top of the lighthouse. Unfortunately Gabe left his grapple hook in his other pants. But then, Gabe remembered that he could fly (But only up stairs).

1:05 am, Top of the Lighthouse

The heavy rain rained heavily on the metal top of the lighthouse and robin was inside the glass. Robin had his back turned to the stairs as Gabe flew up. Robin was about to take the first and foremost bite of the chocolate bar. “NOOOO!†Gabe screamed while diving into Robin and through the glass smashing it. The bar lay next to them. Bloody and bleeding, they both crawled towards it. Robin was just about to get it but Gabe snatched it first. The rain still heavy, mixing with the blood. Gabe got the chocolate bar and didn’t think twice. He threw it as far as he could into the ocean. "No... cough Why, what about your snack... Your midnight snack." said Robin. "GODDAMN IT ROBIN," "YOU’RE THE ONLY MIDNIGHT SNACK I NEED." THEY HAD SEX. THEY HAD SEX ALL NIGHT LONG. Just goes to show, Sometimes, all you need is a little love and dedication and that’s where it goes and feels. … The end. ... ... ?

http://www.reddit.com/r/Gaben/comments/198zfb/show_me_your_best_gaben_fanfics/

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Gabe Newell’s Midnight Snack

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Late at night in the Newell household, the clock becomes closer nearing to midnight. Five, four, three, two, one. Midnight Gabe awakes in a fit of cold sweat. Not having eaten in half an hour has really taken its toll. "I’m going to the kitchen" said Gabe as he went to the kitchen. "I wonder what I will have. A burger or a turkey leg or a..." Gabe saw a painting, it was the sexiest damn chocolate bar you had ever seen. He looked in the fridge and looked hard the pantry and the sink. There wasn’t a single chocolate bar to be found. "TO THE GABEN MOBILE!" screamed Gabe Newell waking up everyone in his mansion. He went to his computer and typed the password: originsuxbalz And suddenly a wall opened to reveal a life size Dr Breen bust on a pillar like in Half-Life 2. Gabe pulled Breen’s head back and suddenly a wall opened to reveal a book shelf. Gabe looked to find a book titled: The Unfortunate Stopping of a Gaben. He pulled it back and suddenly a wall opened to reveal an elevator shaft with a ladder. Gabe dived down the shaft and landed in a car shaped like a valve. Gabe was driving down the street in The Gaben Mobile when he stopped at a house. The name on mailbox said: Walker residence. Gabe screamed "ROBIN GET IN" and a young Australian boy in black, red and green clothing got in. "Let’s go" said robin in his award winning Morgan Freeman impression.

12:30 am, 7/11 time

"Holy seven eleven Gaben" said Robin as they pulled in. "Wait here as i get chocolate." "Do we need to buy gasoline?" "Ha ha ha of course not robin, THE GABEN MOBILE IS POWERED BY STEAM HA HA HA HA." And Gaben jump out of the car and into the store. "Hello welcome to 7/11 may I get you som'in?" said the southern store owner. "THIS!" said Gabe as he held up the painting. "That’ll be 2.49." Gabe forgot his wallet in his mansion. "Can I give you something else?" "We take money here. That or the only copy of the source code to Half-Life 3." Gabe held both in his hands weighing them. Chocolate in one hand and a hard drive with Half-Life 3 on it in the other. Gabe threw the hard drive at the store owner and ran out with chocolate in hand.

1:00 am, The Lighthouse

Gabe was about to take a bite of his chocolate bar when Robin betrayed him and punched him in the face taking his chocolate bar and grapple hooking up to the top of the lighthouse. Unfortunately Gabe left his grapple hook in his other pants. But then, Gabe remembered that he could fly (But only up stairs).

1:05 am, Top of the Lighthouse

The heavy rain rained heavily on the metal top of the lighthouse and robin was inside the glass. Robin had his back turned to the stairs as Gabe flew up. Robin was about to take the first and foremost bite of the chocolate bar. “NOOOO!†Gabe screamed while diving into Robin and through the glass smashing it. The bar lay next to them. Bloody and bleeding, they both crawled towards it. Robin was just about to get it but Gabe snatched it first. The rain still heavy, mixing with the blood. Gabe got the chocolate bar and didn’t think twice. He threw it as far as he could into the ocean. "No... cough Why, what about your snack... Your midnight snack." said Robin. "GODDAMN IT ROBIN," "YOU’RE THE ONLY MIDNIGHT SNACK I NEED." THEY HAD SEX. THEY HAD SEX ALL NIGHT LONG. Just goes to show, Sometimes, all you need is a little love and dedication and that’s where it goes and feels. … The end. ... ... ?

 

http://www.reddit.com/r/Gaben/comments/198zfb/show_me_your_best_gaben_fanfics/

That was full of errors and the plot was disturbing. 1/5.33 would not read again.
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I crie evrytiem I reed dis ;_; 


 


It's a wonderfully pretty Monday morning, and for a change you're actually early on your way to university, so you figure there is time to get a coffee from the nearest Starbucks.


Holding your scalding vanilla cappuccino in your hands, you hurry out of the busy place, and not seeing the little step on the threshold, stumble hard, painfully falling against a tall figure which appears in front of you that very second. Terrified, you watch in slow-motion as the entire contents of the cup splash over the suit of the man, and weirdly, the only thought your mind can process is that the suit is tailor cut, and looks very expensive.


Flushing crimson with embarrassment, you immediately start mopping the man's suit with the tissues that were given with your drink, apologizing incessantly.


"My goodness, I am so, so, so incredibly sorry for this. I just didn't see you, and I fell on this step and…and… oh, please, let me pay for the cleani…"


But you don't get to finish your sentence, because the man puts a hand on your arm with which you're desperately clutching the soaking tissues, and says,


"Oh please, don't worry about the suit - it's just a small mishap that could happen to anyone; I myself have done that on a number of occasions"


And as soon as you hear this incredibly rich, deep, and rumbling voice, a gasp escapes and you feel yourself shaking. No…this cannot be… You lift your eyes cautiously, and feel them almost leap out of your head as you gaze star-struck at the all-too-familiar face before you. The razor sharp cheekbones, the lean face, the mesmerizing eyes, the wavy ginger hair - it feels too surreal to be true, but since you have for the past half minute been frantically rubbing a tiny piece of tissue against this man's torso, you simply accept that, yes, the man you've spilled a whole cup of coffee on, is in fact - Benedict Cumberbatch.


In a daze you hear him speak, "Please, let me buy you another cup of coffee to replace this one. I believe I too am at fault for having so unexpectedly and hurriedly walked into the shop. But would you mind if we found another coffee place? It's just too crowded in here and completely impossible to hold a conversation. I think I know just the right spot, and it's not too distant from here."


Not even knowing what is going on, you find yourself nodding your head mutely, still grasping the wet tissues to your chest.


He starts walking, keeping half a step in front, and you find yourself hurrying your pace to keep up with his immensely long stride. As he walks he introduces himself and inquires about you and your studies, and seems impressed when you shyly tell him what you're studying. In exchange, he tells you he is an actor and that probably you have never even heard of him, and not to appear an overeager fangirl you shrug nonchalantly. Stammering, you manage to ask him a question or two about his acting, melting inwardly as he regales you with stories about his work in Sherlock, and his new role in the Hobbit, and how he has fled here to take a short break from the stresses of his job. He really does have a slightly tired air to him, and your stomach winces in sympathy.


You notice he has led you away from the crowded main street, and is walking towards a quieter road that opens out on a park, nearby a canal. Rounding the corner, he shows you to a tiny French café and holds the door open for you. He tells you that his mother used to take him there as a boy, before he'd moved to take up acting, and that after lunch he had loved to walk in the park and feed the ducks in the canal. The owner, a corpulent French man, remembers Benedict and clapping his hands in joy, inquires in French what would he like to order. Your somewhat distorted knowledge of the language, however, allows you to understand that the chef has mentioned you as "votre délicieuse amie" - his delightful friend, and you realize that if you blush any further you'll set fire to your cheeks.


In perfectly fluent French, Benedict orders two vanilla cappuccinos and two exquisite pastries; "to go" he requests them. Awkwardly, you wait alongside him until the order is ready; he pays refusing your offers to pay your share, saying that you've had quite enough trouble this morning, and once again holding the door open for you, sets out into the bright and warm sunshine.


He takes you into the park, charmingly describing fellow actors and funny set incidents, and soon enough you've relaxed enough to tell him some anecdotes about yourself and smile as he laughs heartily.


He turns to you and once again butterflies swarm in your stomach as you hear him, "Seeing that I've shamelessly abducted you from your daily plans and you've probably already missed a lecture or two, would you mind joining me for an impromptu picnic here in the park? You're a wonderful person to talk to and I'd gladly have your company for a while longer."


Giddy with joy, you beam out a slightly breathless agreement and in companionable silence walk by his side, as he leads you to a place on the opposite side of the park, where he says he used to have picnics by himself when he was younger, because he had no friends or siblings to have picnics with. Incredibly saddened by this private insight, you tell him about having stayed somewhat lonely throughout your life and watch the corners of his eyes crinkle in understanding.


Suddenly you feel yourself lose balance over some gravel on the path, and he gallantly takes your hand to steady you, and does not let go even when you recommence walking, at which point your legs seem ready to give way, but you persuade yourself to calmly keep moving forwards, one leg at a time. Walking a bit further ahead, moving away from the path, he stops and you find yourself in a small, secluded spot on higher ground, which is completely invisible to anyone walking along the main path. He takes off his suit jacket and spreads it on the ground explaining that if it's already dirty, some grass stains won't make much of a difference, but realizing that his words make you feel uncomfortable and guilty, he apologizes. You sit down on the edge of the jacket as he takes his place directly opposite you, comfortably cross-legged, and opens the paper bag that holds the take-away food, handing you your second vanilla cappuccino of the day along with the mille feuille pastry. You sit there relishing the sunshine and the food as you chat companionably about life, feeling closer to him than you've been to anyone in years.


Handing you a napkin from the bag, your hands touch, and a slight blush creeps over his smooth cheekbones, his large and beautiful hand lingering on yours for slightly longer than necessary and he leans forward, so large and warm and…well…unbelievably real, that feeling too overwhelmed by all this emotion and your pulse racing, you leap up nervously and walk to the side of the clearing letting the wind flow through your hair calming you. You hear a twig break behind you, turn and see his large figure standing over you, his deep, sea green and gold flecked eyes boring into your soul, and slowly you feel yourself drowning in them, as your heart starts to beat so loudly you're surprised he doesn't hear it.


He whispers so quietly that you're not quite sure you're imagining it or not, "Forgive me if I startled you. I feel a strange connection with you as though I've known you from a different lifetime. You are indeed a special person." His eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles shyly, and the wind plays with a lock of hair fallen across his forehead.


Leaving one hand casually in his pocket, with his other hand he brushes back your windswept hair and gently runs his fingertips down the side of your face; caresses your lips with his thumb - light like the wings of a butterfly and finally lifts them to his, as you stare mesmerized at those angelically curved lips you've so often fantasized about.


In one swift stroke he slashes your neck open with the knife that was in his pocket, so quickly you don't even have time to scream and leaves you there, as you die in pulsating waves of blood.


 


Source:http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7929229/1/Day-out-with-Benedict-Cumberbatch 


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  • 2 weeks later...

 

Gabe Newell’s Midnight Snack

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Late at night in the Newell household, the clock becomes closer nearing to midnight. Five, four, three, two, one. Midnight Gabe awakes in a fit of cold sweat. Not having eaten in half an hour has really taken its toll. "I’m going to the kitchen" said Gabe as he went to the kitchen. "I wonder what I will have. A burger or a turkey leg or a..." Gabe saw a painting, it was the sexiest damn chocolate bar you had ever seen. He looked in the fridge and looked hard the pantry and the sink. There wasn’t a single chocolate bar to be found. "TO THE GABEN MOBILE!" screamed Gabe Newell waking up everyone in his mansion. He went to his computer and typed the password: originsuxbalz And suddenly a wall opened to reveal a life size Dr Breen bust on a pillar like in Half-Life 2. Gabe pulled Breen’s head back and suddenly a wall opened to reveal a book shelf. Gabe looked to find a book titled: The Unfortunate Stopping of a Gaben. He pulled it back and suddenly a wall opened to reveal an elevator shaft with a ladder. Gabe dived down the shaft and landed in a car shaped like a valve. Gabe was driving down the street in The Gaben Mobile when he stopped at a house. The name on mailbox said: Walker residence. Gabe screamed "ROBIN GET IN" and a young Australian boy in black, red and green clothing got in. "Let’s go" said robin in his award winning Morgan Freeman impression.

12:30 am, 7/11 time

"Holy seven eleven Gaben" said Robin as they pulled in. "Wait here as i get chocolate." "Do we need to buy gasoline?" "Ha ha ha of course not robin, THE GABEN MOBILE IS POWERED BY STEAM HA HA HA HA." And Gaben jump out of the car and into the store. "Hello welcome to 7/11 may I get you som'in?" said the southern store owner. "THIS!" said Gabe as he held up the painting. "That’ll be 2.49." Gabe forgot his wallet in his mansion. "Can I give you something else?" "We take money here. That or the only copy of the source code to Half-Life 3." Gabe held both in his hands weighing them. Chocolate in one hand and a hard drive with Half-Life 3 on it in the other. Gabe threw the hard drive at the store owner and ran out with chocolate in hand.

1:00 am, The Lighthouse

Gabe was about to take a bite of his chocolate bar when Robin betrayed him and punched him in the face taking his chocolate bar and grapple hooking up to the top of the lighthouse. Unfortunately Gabe left his grapple hook in his other pants. But then, Gabe remembered that he could fly (But only up stairs).

1:05 am, Top of the Lighthouse

The heavy rain rained heavily on the metal top of the lighthouse and robin was inside the glass. Robin had his back turned to the stairs as Gabe flew up. Robin was about to take the first and foremost bite of the chocolate bar. “NOOOO!†Gabe screamed while diving into Robin and through the glass smashing it. The bar lay next to them. Bloody and bleeding, they both crawled towards it. Robin was just about to get it but Gabe snatched it first. The rain still heavy, mixing with the blood. Gabe got the chocolate bar and didn’t think twice. He threw it as far as he could into the ocean. "No... cough Why, what about your snack... Your midnight snack." said Robin. "GODDAMN IT ROBIN," "YOU’RE THE ONLY MIDNIGHT SNACK I NEED." THEY HAD SEX. THEY HAD SEX ALL NIGHT LONG. Just goes to show, Sometimes, all you need is a little love and dedication and that’s where it goes and feels. … The end. ... ... ?

http://www.reddit.com/r/Gaben/comments/198zfb/show_me_your_best_gaben_fanfics/

 

 

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