Tales from the Chinese Teacher, where I share with you the stories from my Chinese teacher she brings along her lessons.

If it has not been made clear, Chinese is a tonal language; which means that how you say a word will determine its meaning. There are 4 tones in Mandarin Chinese. Some students would listen and understand these tones; while executing their sounds perfectly; or in the least, good enough. Of course, there are students who fail at these tasks and have no grasp of the tones. Such was the story of one of the students at Rice University where my teacher taught before currently teaching at the American International School of Guangzhou.

This student, who will be left unnamed, had a very good knowledge of the vocabularies of Chinese, but did not have a good grasp of the tones. He was invited by his penpal to go to Taiwan. His penpal was learning English. Of course when he arrived, he wanted to show off his knowledge in Chinese. He went to a restaurant, and asked some Taiwanese waitresses for some dumplings. Well, that's what he thought he said.

He thought he had said if he could have some 水饺 (ShuÇjiÇŽo) or dumplings from them. He had actually asked the waitresses if he could have some ç¡è§‰ (Shuìjiào) or sleep with them. Because he had said the tones wrong, he said completely different words. He had asked the waitresses to have some sleep from them! He was then immediately told to go away. "去你的!" He then called my teacher and asked why the Taiwanese waitresses were so mean to him.

"Teacher, why were the Taiwanese waitresses so mean to me?"

"Well, what did you say to them?"

"I asked if I could have some...ç¡è§‰."

"Oh, that's why."

When he went to see his penpal, she brought her mother. When they met up, he complemented the mother on her daughter's skin. Again, that's what he thought he said.

He thought he had said that her daughter had a very nice looking 皮肤 (PífÅ«) or skin. Instead, he had actually said her daughter had a very nice looking å±è‚¡ (Pìgu) or butt. Again, he had said the tones wrong, and even pronounced what he meant to say wrong! He had said to the mother that her daughter had a very nice butt! He was then slapped by the mother and was told to go away again.

Not related to tones, he had gone to the airport the next day to return to Rice University after all the bad things that had happened to him. When going through immigration, he was asked what his name was. After replying, they asked what was the surname. He even described it himself: "In that moment, I forgot everything about Chinese. Every word, every combination, and every lesson." After returning to Rice University, he decided that he would retake Chinese. He retook Chinese 1 Beginner Classes in order to not make such a mistake again.

If you neglect your tones, you're going to have some trouble... this story is a very good reminder for every learner to say the tones right.

No, not Korean! Chinese!