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Doesn't support tl;dr

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Yes, I love mass media as my major, I have a goal to change a lot in my world (middle east, we suck atm) but there is no single day that passes by that I don't think of dropping out from my major, seeing the future subjects and the amount of bullshit that I will never benefit from (except killing my gpa) .. I think to myself that I can save all the money that Dad pisses on slightly useless education, study a diploma that will take what a year or two and with the same amount of info that i will spend 4 years taking and spending much more, eh thinking about it more and more just hurts my head, whateva.


Having a Syrian nationality is probably the worst thing that you won't even wish your worst enemy to have, I'm stuck with it and it is really a pain in the ass, I can't work here (Jordan), can't get a car, can't work, they barely even let me in at first .. but I have this friend of mine that introduced me to a direct trade (i think?) company that I can work in either by selling products or getting new employees to join, i'm going to see them tomorrow, while I don't think that it will work out (because I suck socially and i need to be super social to work properly) i will give a shot, seeing how much Dad spends on my siblings and I it will be welcome to have my own income, I would love to work in a restaurant or whatever but sadly i can't .. fuck war yeah.


I met this girl in senior year of high-school, she have this retarded boyfriend (well tbh she wasn't that smart at that time either) .. we started talking a lot , I learnt nearly everything about her (and her tragic life story, suddenly she transferred from that not smart girl to a girl that I adore and really like, never judge a book by its cover eh) and she knew shit-ton about me as well, she was the friend that I could always lean on when I couldn't share with family or normal friends and it was awesome. She broke up with that dickhead when he moved away to university .. I never really confessed my love for her because I know I am not ready and i'm not ready to break her heart that she is still trying to heal, yes I tried (and did) confess my love to her, I also explained that i don't think am ready and she said the same .. good think we are still really close best friends even if we are in different countries and might never meet again, oh how things change in 2 years.


Life is a roller coaster and is a good one if you accept that bad things that can happen to you, enjoy it while it lasts

< a very nice song :D

Freedom from ... hair ?

Monday I went to the doc to take some medicines for a small flu I got, and of course I took the chance to skip University the next day, you know, to revisit the kid inside that would fake a sickness to miss school.


Tuesday morning when I stared in the mirror, something didn't look right, my hair was a mess, my beard was scary and I was looking like a homeless drug addict. When I was trimming my beard I decided to go all the way, and suddenly my fabulous long hair was gone, trimmed, destroyed and I was feeling happy, then sad, then indifferent because this wasn't the first time that I decide to kill my hair .. now I feel free and motivated more than the guy who stared at the mirror in the morning.


Sometimes we have to just change something to prevent life from being dull, colourless, boring. Whether it is killing your hair, getting away from social media, getting isolated and listening to music while staring at the sky doing absolutely nothing. Things that we like doing might be our biggest enemy, change is fun and adds a new dimension to a dull life.


P.s please don't tell Mom that I killed my hair, because I will be next.


Isolation is a gift.

Sometimes when you feel like you are a pile of crap, you just want to be gone, forgotten, alone and not talking to anybody, you feel like you are worthless, and why would anyone besides your parents care about you .. and this feeling sucks; but it is incredibly satisfying.


Being alone, away from social media, away from friends and loved ones, on paper, is hard .. but sometimes you have to take the chance to just sit with yourself, evaluate your life, know your true friends from normal mates, see the world from others point of view, self shame and judge .. it is tough yet incredibly rewarding and refreshing.


Turn off Facebook, Snapchat, Instgram or whatever you use to see and stalk other humans .. find something more exciting to do, listen to music, write, read and at night close the lights and sit with yourself, have a quick chat and embrace it and then go on and take over the world.


After all, we gotta surround ourselves by people who truly love you and care for you, family and friends are a real treat and cure from life beatings.




Real life is a real messy asshole-ish fun, so I'm making this blog like a digital personal diary because I don't have any one irl
This will be long and boring, but let me try and re-run the blog section as I see not much interest in this section


If someone asks me why am I here writing about my boring life, I would have no realistic answer.


My name is Karam, I'm 19 years old who is currently studying Journalism in Jordan. I studied 1 year of Engineering but it wasn't interesting, so I switched to Journalism this academic year and 9/10 was my first day; I hope it goes good.


Moving away from family after being the youngest isn't the easiest thing in the world, I miss my parents but I love it to be my own man for once (arabs can relate, I think).
Leaving Engineering was no easy task, you see most arabs LOVE Medicine, Engineering and those mainstream degrees, when I told my Mom I was going to pursue a career in Journalism she wasn't too please to hear it, after 4 months, she still wasn't convinced so now I'm on a mission to prove everyone wrong, and to prove to myself that I got what it takes to change the world.


Yes, changing the world, sounds crazy enough, but in reality we are all capable of doing that if we can surround ourselves with winners, believers and hard workers; which is sadly what most arab countries don't have.


Life is fun, it really is. Yes their are wars going on, hate is the norm now, depression hits more often than not, but looking at the bright side of life, we can make it colourful, I have an inner belief that my generation will be better than our ancestors. I don't believe in wars, hate or religion dividing humans, and I hope and know that most my generation thinks this way and I hope for better days on this planet.


I don't even know what I wrote, oh well; this is what happens when you didn't have a clue on what to do with life for 19 years.


Go out there and have a great day ladies and gentlemen (will anyone even read this blog iunno).
Don't forget to smile and try to give joy for people around you :D


People still know me ?

To answer the title .. i dont think so tbh .. haven't been here for ages


I tried to start writing a diary; paper based or electronical (is this a word?) .. both failed .. so i just like to throw some things here on the internet that i dont think anyone will see or care about yay :D


One week from now i will finish my first year in University .. i studied engineering and i absolutely hated it. After 18 years (19 in august) i realised that i am not a calculus/physics/chemistry guy, but hey, better late than never.


Marketing/Journalism is the way to go i suppose .. so apparently next year will again be year 1 for me .. yay ?


Should I continue in my university away from my parents ? Because heck i love it here i can eat junk and do whatever i want, which is not that great of a thing as i gain 7 freaking KGs in 8 months .. gg
However, my parents are like now in their 60s and I'm their youngest son and i feel like getting to a university their would do suitable, they didnt accept me last year so im crossing my fingers that they will this year.


First year was a blast .. met so many new people and grew alot as a human being, especially volunteering in helping the Syrian refugees here in Jordan, they are too many and you can provide just a little it is quite hard


I wish i can continue here, and i wish i can study next to my parents at the same time .. decisions decisions and more decisions to make this summer, gonna be a fun ride !!


tl;dr no one remembers me anyway


Cheers bp.tf lads! you were always great to me :D



From the day i moved from my parents home .. life seems to be interesting to say the least


I've been away since end of September .. adapting to living with your friends can be a challenge .. a really fun challenge. Cleaning cooking washing the dishes cleaning the toilets mopping the ground .. doesnt seem good on paper but trust me, FUN. Being Arab (and me being the youngest of 5) you really dont get a lot of chances to stay home late or sleep over .. so living alone is a whole different experience (miss you mom </3)


University is going alright (expect of my shitty marks .. nearly all i get is Cs) .. i have entered civil engineering but im thinking to change the course as i didnt like it a ton .. maybe i will switch to computer science/newtorking/or heck english literature (dont even ask)


I saw Kodorin's blog .. it really had me thinking. Just like his days, i spent ALOT of time on tf2 in general and bp.tf+forums back in the day, and when i open the forums or main site now, i dont really feel like commenting or writing anything let alone making a suggestion. It was such a great experience to go over the internet with great people and just talk and share interests together, truly a golden time! No this is not me saying goodbye (i mean im pretty much only playing Rocket League). Thanks for everyone for the great times here :3


P.s sorry for my un-organized and long post
P.s.s did you hear Coldplay's newest album ? Some really awesome tracks in there !


Stay cool y'all :D



So i moved to Jordan the last week, wether it was me having some tears leaving my mom or my mom talking in the i dont want to cry voice, it was hard, i always treated my mom like my princess/friend the i will joke with at all times and love her more than my wife that i still didnt marry, and because i'm the youngest of 4 and i was the last member in my family's home.


So i arrived here to live with 2 dudes who are 4 years older than me but they are awesome. So us being Syrians, we only (well mostly) hang out with Syrians only, so with 2 hangouts i got to know A LOT of dudes who are great in their own aspects.


As much as i didnt want to come here, it feels a lot like Syria. Last time i was really in Syria was 5 years ago, so it just feels good to be here.


University admission being a total bitch is a totally different story, but everything is now set and i will be studying Civil Engineering :3 First day of university starts 27th of september, wish me the best :-)


So i got accepted in Jordan, while it wasn't my plan, I am still really excited, especially that I will be able to live and go to the same university as my childhood friend! I will be attending Civil Engineering, YUY


I always loved Saudi Arabia, i will always love it, it just really fits my way of life.

My Mom is my everything, i love her more than myself, it saddens me a lot that i will have to leave her for like 4 years (i will visit from time to time) .. i will miss my dad too .. but not as much as my Mom :/


Uni starts 6th of October, i probably won't have a good internet (or any at all) so i might be more inactive than ever.


I'm not a good student and i admit it, i never cared about school nor studied hard for it .. and now im going for the hardest university in Jordan, it will be a challenge, and hopefully i will do good in it :D


Wish me the best :)


University and .... Parents

I have ton shit of topics i wanted/still want to write, too lazy. Here's a quick one


So the hunt to find a university began when i graduated, and like any arab parent, my parents just really REALLY want me to study where they want me to study because apparently they know everything good in the world.

So my parents were like "oh give admission to all universities of the world and then we will help you to pick" i know that they dont want that, so fast forward, i got accepted in Turkey, Cyprus (Malaysia too but till 2016/2017 .. i might go there by that time). So i have to study 1 year before going to Malaysia.

Here is where the story gets a bit complicated.

Being a Syrian means i have to renew my passport every 2 years (screw you ass president) .. Turkey/Cyprus dont require Syrians to have a visa, and universities are relatively cheap (2.5K dollars per semester) .. so i was like great, i will go there with my friend and it will be great. BUT NO, (remember that part of admit where ever you want ? yea i know that that wasnt going to happen) my parents decided that i should study in Jordan. I hate Jordan, but just because my parents said so and keep making excuses how bad turkey/cyprus is, i have no other choice really. Admission in jordan is just so complicated (welcome to arab world) i am hoping that i dont get accepted .. it is not the right mentality but at this point i dont care anymore.


Meh. I still love my family and life tho, it is just this part of life that i hate :/


Stay cool :D


So graduation is on friday 5th of july .. and being the only dude with a car is pretty darn hard. Karam go get this karam can you please bring that karam come pick me up and we will go together .. enough already ;-;


I have to do the presentation that will be presented .. i have to be the host .. i have to give a speech .. darn the teachers just put too much trust in me :P They know i suck at academics but atleast im useful in something.


Oh and they are like .. Karam come early friday and help us arrange the hall.


Stahp ;-;


Wish me the best on friday ! :D


Mom almost died ..

10th of May is a day i will never forget. i woke up, tired, flu and high temperature so i decided to skip school, i went to the doctor (i hate hospitals and doctors urgh) .. wrote down couple of medicines and everything is cool. I then went to a shop to make a birthday gift to my friend, on the way out the shop guy told me "have a nice day" .. i was like thanks and then boom, i smacked my head with the door. Great start. On the way back home, i was parking the car and i hit a trash can where the front light got broken, nice start to a long day.


Fast forward till evening, my mom has been sick for the last 2 weeks and can barely eat, so i got her a small dinner, she ate some and then she is like i am going to the bathroom, 1 minute later i heard a voice "Karam catch me" .. when i reached there my mom was lying on the floor, head busted open and unconscious with her eyes open (i almost shat myself here). Luckily enough my uncle lives in the same building as us, my sister rushed down and called for help, my uncle and my dad were still at work, So my cousin and his mom came and we were able to lift her .. put her on a wheel chair (that i happen to find in my room) and drag her to my car. We reached to the hospital where they closed the busted head and she was diagnosed with a minor concussion.


For the moment she left till the moment we reached the hospital, i had a feeling there was no hope, but on the way she came back conscious and i rushed even more so she doesnt go unconscious again. I need to make a darn movie about this.


I am the youngest of 5, so the youngest is mostly the one most attached to his mom and that is my case. All my siblings (except 1 sister) are all out of town, i had no idea how i was able to control my emotions and reach safely to the hospital with my wicked driving.


My mom is a lot better as we speak, she can walk on her own (well still uses that old people stick) .. eat and talk.


Blessed !

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