Pyroman~ Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Mine is not saying goodbye to my lifelong friend (and ex) before her passing. We started dating after being friends for about 8 years, it was an on/off relationship that lasted about 3 years, which had both its ups and downs. Though our relationship was never stable and she suffered through several mental disorders (depression, anorexia, bipolarity, and a bunch of others, some of which I could help her overcome) that most other people (incluiding her family) didn't know of, she was really the greatest person I had ever met in my life and the one that was the most meaningful to me. In August 2010 (I was 16 at the time), she went on a trip to Cuzco with her family during the holidays, so I wasn't able to communicate with her during that time. Shortly before she set off to the airport I went to her house and talked to her for some time, though for some reason (something I can't remember, though it was really stupid) I got mad at her, flipped her off, and left without saying anything. That was the last time I saw her. Two weeks later I got a call from her grandmother (who I got along with well) saying that she and her sister died in a car accident when they were returning from their vacations. That call was the most heart-breaking moment I ever lived. I remember I literally dropped my phone and started crying like there was no tomorrow, and immediately ran to her house. However, the worst part of all was that she was pregnant at that time (doing it yet another mistake we had made). We found it out (using a test) about a week before she went out of the city, and that was something that drove both of us crazy at that time. She was only a couple of weeks in, and she was pretty slim, so nobody noticed. I practically abandoned her and all that situation out of fear. Now I just can't help but keep thinking to myself "what if none of that ever happened? what if she was still alive? what if I had never insulted her?". Not only did I lose a possible child and the most important person in my life, but I also lost them having them thinking that I hated them. Title, keep the thread serious please. I felt curious about what other people have to share. Update: You can post about anything you want that feels like a burden, it dosn't have to be necessarily an emotional burden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadZoNeD Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 my teammates when they're 4k or lower sorry for the not so serious response but seriously Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pyroman~ Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 my teammates when they're 4k or lower sorry for the not so serious response but seriously well, it's something one has to deal with :v Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmf Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Not being able to confess when I had the chance. Didn't make a move on the girl I liked for the past year or so, and now shes completely out of my reach. thats for being serious. non-serious note : having to deal with flashbangs from trolls when awping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
comfortable Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 bipolar disorder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSpeed Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I can't come out to any member of my family as a bisexual or a Transgender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelly jiggler Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Edit nvm this thread is depressing pls delete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobsplosion Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I'm going to die and there is nothing I can do about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liddojunior Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 my teammates when they're 4k or lower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rambro Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I was pretty autistic when I was in elemenatary school, and I never got that opportunity to make friends that would stay with me for a while. After 5th grade, I considered some pretty horrible things to mention, and sought help. Fortunately, I was successful, and dug myself out of the hole I put myself into. I learned coping mechanisms and social behaviors, as well as how to limit unnecessary comments that I used to crack so frequently. You couldn't tell I ever had social issues if you look at me today. Anyways, It wasn't until 9th grade that I was able to find a group of friends that would stick with me for a while, and it had gotten so much better from there. I started talking to more girls, and gained a sizeable group of friends that I all still talk to to this day. I do live with the regret of my early childhood, however I also love with the redemption of high school. Some good has come out of it at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N!K Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I'll always be a disappointment to my mum for not sticking to a career that I knew she loved me doing. the feels in this thread though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
λngelღмander Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I guess the worst moral burden, since that seems to be the subject of your OP, would be my inadvertently causing the suicide of my mother, but when you made this topic, my first thought was my social ineptitude. I'm pretty painfully socially awkward, mildly autistic actually. Also, that's one of the most horrible things I've ever heard, pyroman. I'm sorry you had to live through that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A-money Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I seriously consider killing myself every single day. I have for a while now to be honest, I have imagined killing myself in so many ways I can't even count anymore. I am very hard on myself I think that I am horrible at everything if I fuck up once. I have never had any real relationships because I really hate people. I consider myself a worthless piece of trash who can accomplish nothing in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMCBros99 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Knowing that one wrong move can result in something chaotic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roastededededed Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Not being able to confess when I had the chance. Didn't make a move on the girl I liked for the past year or so, and now shes completely out of my reach. Tru Tho, but im still young, I'll never understand grils from this day and age, with their snapchat and tumbler post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobiased Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Each one of us has a fear that holds us back. Like a permanent wound, a scar then whenever we look at it we remember why it's there. We think it serves as a punishment that lasts a lifetime. For me, it's knowing how every descendant so far of my grandmother was practically torn from the rest of the family. My mother hated her, as she had a drinking problem, but when she was wasn't drinking, she was the nicest person. She ended up dying at around 50-55 years old when she tried to quit her addictions. My Mother was devastated. Even though she hated her, she still fell apart. My Grandmother passed away knowing the rejection from her family. even from her own child. I don't know what to think of it as i barely ever saw her. This has torn my mother, my aunt and my siblings and i from the rest of the family. To make it even worse, my brother is adopted, we never met our father, and due to family issues, my sister and i live with our Guardians. So my mother is pretty much alone. Just like her mother was. All started by a drinking problem. Which ruined us all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hawk Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Throughout middle school I was suuuppeerr close to this girl. She was my first girlfriend when I moved to where I live now, and we got along fine. Kinda similar to OP actually. (On and off and really close. No sex though) Towards my junior year we stopped talking for three reasons. 1: When her and me were about to be "on" again I found out that she was talking to me as well as another guy. 2: I kind of led her on when we wanted to try again after ^ But I eventually just said no I don't want to. 3: We still talked after #2, but I found a new girlfriend a while later and we kind of fell off at that point. We just kinda stopped talking completely. A month or so passes, and I find out she committed suicide. It wasn't my fault, she was bullied all the time at the other school she went to which was ~ an hour from the one I go to. But I just can't help but feel responsible. I didn't have a chance to apologize for any of the rough times we had. And I just feel like if I still talked to her that I could have talked her out of it or something. Her dad knew how close we were, and even reached out to me to help him raise money in order to continue her legacy through music. And since this post is mostly srs. Just speaking on behalf of how I feel about her. If you're thinking about suicide just don't do it. You don't know how many people you'll be affecting, directly or indirectly. I'm well aware that things get hard, and I had a rough time through elementary as well. I even contemplated suicide because of how bullied I was in elementary. Things will get better. Be optimistic about the small things instead of being pessimistic and thinking about every single thing as an awful whole. I'm not a super commoner on the forums but if someone wants to talk i'm here for anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NineTaledAhri Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 The heaviest burden I have to carry would probably be the fact that I will have to grow up some day. I can't keep having this nice peaceful life forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rambro Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Going off of Mike's post, don't be afraid to seek help if you are depressed. It's a quicker and more efficient alternative to moping about problems you have the power to fix. It will get better, but only if you can find the courage inside you to take action to fix your problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ŴƬЯ-A Vakume Kleener Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Being an ill humored faggot and possiby causing a few people to kill themselves Pffft- natural selection Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazeeguy Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 My burden, if anyone is still here, is a weird one. My autistic behavior, involuntary at the time as I was too young to properly acknowledge its presence, was severely invasive and caused me to make little to no friends. My burden that I must carry is the constant knowledge of the many friendships that I have missed forming, the people that I have offended with my personality, and the few present friendships that I must awkwardly keep within my reach by a thread. I've been putting off getting help for a while, but I really https need to talk to someone who will listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
77777777777777777777777777 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 · Hidden by A Delicious Cashew, July 31, 2015 - No reason given Hidden by A Delicious Cashew, July 31, 2015 - No reason given Nvmmmm Link to comment
.Dusk Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 selling a high 5 taunt for an eternal reward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hawk Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 selling a high 5 taunt for an eternal reward i cri evry tiem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spiritwalker Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 my contant throat ache. It's been good lately, but who knows when it comes back at full force. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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