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Greatest insults


Sgt. Paincakes

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bored huehue

 

So I came across this:

 

OH YEAH?! WELL AT LEAST I DON'T SPEND MY TIME SUCKING DICKS IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM, YOU DIRTY ROTTEN LOWDOWN SLIMY FILTHY DISGUSTING GLUTTONOUS HOGLIKE MOTHER FUCKING COCK SUCKING SON OF AN INCESTUOUS PEDOPHILE SHEMALE RAPIST PROSTITUTE. GET YOUR MOM'S DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. 
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? I'M GONNA SHIT UP YOUR ASS. STOP FOR A MOMENT AND REALLY GRASP THAT STATEMENT. I AM LITERALLY GOING TO SHIT UP YOUR ASS. I WILL TAKE MY PANTS OFF, RIP YOUR PANTS OFF, OUR SPHINCTERS WILL TOUCH, AND I WILL SHIT. YOU WILL TRY TO COUNTERSHIT, BUT MY SPHINCTER WILL OVERCOME, AND I WILL PUSH A LOG OF SHIT FROM MY ASS UP AND INTO YOUR BODY. THIS IS WHAT SHALL OCCUR. 
 
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I WILL PISS IN A POT. I WILL ADD CORNSTARCH TO THE PISS AND BOIL IT UNTIL IT GETS REALLY THICK, LIKE SAUCE. I WILL POUR THE THICKENED PISS INTO A PLASTIC CONTAINER AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE UNTIL IT HARDENS INTO A FIRM JELLO. I WILL THEN CUT IT INTO RECTANGLES, BATTER IT IN A MIX OF MILK, FLOUR, AND EGGS, AND DEEP FRY IT AT 375 UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN, FLIPPING ONCE SINCE THEY FLOAT. AND I WILL SERVE YOU MY DEEP FRIED PISS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR INSULTING ME. COCKMUFFIN.
 
 
And I think that's truly great. What are some gr8 insults everybody else has heard/said?
 
inb4 navy seals
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Any serious replies, or just the whole "You're mentally faggotted" kinda stuff (ThinkKritz is the only one that will get that)

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Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! By this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you!

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Your continued efforts to breath is a insult to humanity. the fact that such a waste of existence is on the same planet as me makes me wonder what chance do we have in the future. I only hope for the sake of everyone that you get hit by a bus carrying 2 tonnes of high explosives. take the hint. Your a cunt.

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever†comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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The best answer to an insult ever is : 

 

"I would love to have a battle of wits with you, but I don't fight unarmed opponents." - SomefamouspersonIforgot

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Were you born on the highway? Coz thats where most accidents happen.

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hi pls add my friend he wants to trade with you but his can't add u add him he give u unusual for ur unwanted items: steamcommuntitty.com/somerandomphisher

 

 

 

It's an insult... To my intelligence!

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