My near overdose on the wee hours of March 30, 2016
I'll preface this by identifying the drug that I took, but it is important to know that I had no idea what I was on until after I woke up this morning. As I type this, my symptoms are still apparent, but minor compared to last night.
During the last few years of my mother's life, she began using a lot of drugs. I won't get into that very deep, but she used to store her medications all over the house in the weirdest places. Some of which I've found have been: On top of a dresser taller than I am, inside candle holders under the candles, in plastic wrap at the back of cabinets, inside little containers hidden in plain sight, and so on. She stored a lot of things in that way, actually. After she died I must have found at least 50 dollars in singles hidden throughout the house.
Moving on, I use a ceramic container with a rubber seal to store my sugar for the tea I drink. The lid to this ceramic container is hollow and rather spacious, so things can be shoved inside. Thinks like, say, a bag full of 8 mg sublingual buprenorphine, an opioid depressant used to allay withdrawal symptoms from opiates like heroin. My mother was probably on this drug to kick an opiate habit.
Over time, in using this container, opening and closing the lid, I knocked some pills loose. After inspecting the bag, I found a hole in it, and that hole seems to be right where the tablespoon I usually leave inside the container rests. I think the tablespoon end pushed a hole in the bag. This morning, I found about 4 more pills on the top of my sugar, and god knows how many I took last night, but I'll actually begin with the story now.
At around 12:00 AM I must have ingested the pill(s). A short time later, maybe 20-30 minutes, my first symptom appeared. It was a weird bulging feeling in my eyes. It just felt like they were filled with blood or something, it wasn't painful, just peculiar. About 30 minutes after that, there was a sensation of movement. It was as if everything was scrolling downward and my eyes were going with it. Involuntarily my eyes seemed to drift upward, and i kept zoning out while staring at things. For about an hour, this symptom did nothing but strengthen. It got to the point where I actually could not read anything without putting my face close to it, and looking around the room made me dizzy, I couldn't focus on anything for an extended period of time. Surprisingly, no headache.
At around 1:30, I began to notice that I was forgetting to breathe. I would sit still for a minute and think little of it, then begin gasping for air. At the same time, I was experiencing muscle weakness and a strange lightness and dizziness. Experimentally I took a lap around the kitchen, and I was bumping into the walls and my muscles felt barely able to support my weight. I began sweating profusely, my hair became damp and my shirt was wet.
The breathing symptoms got worse over time. I never had difficulty taking in air, but I did feel a slight pressure in my chest that made me not want to take deep breaths, and I don't think I was getting enough oxygen into my lungs. At around this time, I was unable to sleep. I desperately wanted to sleep it off, but every time I fell asleep, I stopped breathing. My body was no longer breathing unless I manually took breaths, and sometimes I forgot to do that, so I was having veritable cheyne-stokes.
Near 2:00 AM, I went for another cup of tea. I think I ingested even more buprenorphine this time, because shortly after finishing the cup I vomited twice, the entirety of the contents of my stomach. Last night's dinner, and the tea. I tried to urinate but a sphincter was contracted and I could not work around it. A little later, I wretched again into the sink, but this time nothing happened. From about 2:30-5 AM, my symptoms went from life threatening to manageable, and when I was finally able to fall asleep without waking up gasping for air, I went to bed. I still feel muscle weakness when standing right now, and my eyes still feel like they're bulging, but my vision is fine and my heart isn't throwing itself against my ribs anymore. Around the end of the ordeal, my abdominal muscles began to contract for no reason. They're still doing it right now. It's not painful, just slightly uncomfortable and annoying because I'm trying to make them stop doing it.
The reason I made those ominous status updates was that I was afraid I might die (I'm not kidding, I was actually worried that I would die for a while) and I didn't want you all to think I just up and left.
- λngelღмander and shinsen like this